Call it separation anxiety, or just plain desperation, but this gal right here could use a pick-me-up. Feeling oddly depressed even though I walked about 5 miles (around 75 minutes) on the treadmill this morning and most of the apartment is clean. It is just a thing. I post a lot of meaningless status updates and tweets, and it feels like I am screaming into a vacuum, mostly because of the lack of interactivity. Not only that, since my bf is not with me due to the holidays, I have been mostly been sitting here alone without any human interaction. Yes, poor fucking me, give me attention, my life is soooo hard. Sarcasm, aside, I do feel isolated, and it is super stupid because I spent most of Friday hanging out with my stepsister, so really I can’t even go two whole days by myself. Is that a problem? Brunch was heavenly though, among the goodies was three different types of quiches, bacon and sausage, goat cheese log, veggies and hummus, french toast casserole – yep 2 sticks of butter – and of course mimosas (maybe a little too many, but I didn’t drive anywhere)
Bonus, I had the e-cigarette, nicotine sans smoking, so I could socially “smoke” without having to really put my lungs in danger. But yeah, mostly I am concerned about the caloric consequences of all that I consumed. It isn’t surprising, after all isn’t expected that you gorge just a bit during this holiday? Strangely enough, I ate so many appetizers during Thursday during the day, that when we finally ate at 5:00 pm, my appetite wasn’t primed for overindulgence of the actual feast. It was yummy, and I actually contributed green bean casserole, my favorite after dressing of the Thanksgiving gluttony.
So tomorrow, back on the fitness horse, if you could even say I was on it during these past few months. Ugh, have to do something, I cannot exactly pinpoint why I am so depressed either, which makes it even that much more infuriating, if it was something I knew I could fix I would probably just take care of it, but it is just a general feeling of helplessness and despair, also that lovely isolation from everyone in my life, gotta love that, too. Okay, enough whining, hopefully there will be a brighter day tomorrow.