New Beginnings

I am starting over with this blog on http://www.fitorama.net. Not sure if any of you who follow  me on wordpress.com will be able to see my posts now in your feed, but I may try to see if I can find a plugin that will let me do reposts automatically. Anyway, I should be getting some kind of subscription function from my blog if you are interested in following!

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Workout WINsday – night moves!

With the one beer I drank last night (the horror!), I ended up with a 30 calorie surplus than I should have had, however, there was a lot of activity as you can see in the chart below:

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Some of that was C25K, and if I haven’t mentioned I am training for The Electric Run at the end of March and some of that was plain ole fashioned dancing, burpees and jumping jacks. This morning was incredibly difficult to get out of bed even! Have also made some money from Gym Pact:

gym-pact-statsSlowly but steadily seeing results, and ended up only spending about $45 on groceries (for two people!!) last night. Well, mostly because it was not my money I was spending, and unfortunately,  I did buy a lot of processed stuff like instant mashed potatoes, pasta, macaroni and cheese, and “helper” foods. However I was sure to make sure that at least half of the items were vegetables and fruits, so that was a win.   So since we are on the subject of stats, check out this mess:

BOOM!

BOOM!

Yep, I set a record 382 views yesterday, now it is nowhere near my goal of 1,000 visitors but it is a HUGE spike in traffic. Thanks to a nod from Go Kaleo so happy with that.  I thought I had a bit more to say, but I suppose I don’t so here is a picture of Early Cuyler:

More random images that I find on my compy…. I have been told that I look like Rachael McAdams (that picture was supposed to be about wanting to always lose 3lbs), not sure if I see the resemblance, but I will take the complement nonetheless!

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Well, this post is going nowhere fast, so I bid Adieu!

Lemon water & avocado mayonaise

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This looks so much more appetizing than apple pie, right?

Like my carbohydrate vices, the promise of a new year brings with it the false hope that I will miraculously change my habitually poor lifestyle choices and become a beacon of health and wellness. Right. Part of me hopes that I get a little bit sick, just to shed 5 pounds that I effortlessly put on with the help of Cinnabon and tex-mex cuisine, but that typically is weight that gets regained. Oh, there are a few hacks I have been employing to get back down to post-Whole 30, and one of them is the wonderfully fantastic diuretic inducing lemon water!

You could say that I am on a detox of sorts, but not really because we all know that even if you starve yourself for a week, like getting sick, it just is going to creep up on you with a vengeance. I hate to be one of those chicks who obsesses about the number on the scale, but if I don’t I feel like I easily gain 5-10 pounds without even trying. Speaking of gaining or losing weight, my new goal as insane as it may sound is to get rid of 20 pounds. 127 at 64″ is simply unacceptable as stereotypically girl as that sounds. “oh I am so fat” when it is obvious I am at a normal BMI. In model terms, I am still a whale, but you would have to put me on a medieval torture rack to get me close to model terms. I have never been under 110 (at least not since I was 10) It is what I would like to call “dancer weight”. It is about to be festival season, and one of my bucket list items is to hoop or at least gogo at a huge festival. I sorta did this at 2009’s Spring Love, Future Fest, Mega Buzz in Austin (shouts to my central Texas ravers) but those aren’t really huge like the Insomniac shows, and y’all know I would love to meet Paris Hilton. But, I digress, yeah 107 might be totally turn me into “Black Swan” but it would be interesting to see how thin I could get without being full-on anorexic.

If my mind and body won’t sabotage me from working out. This morning, I had a meeting scheduled for 9:00 am (they cancelled and that is why I am writing this) so I knew I was going to need to be getting up early so supposedly I had set my alarm for 6:15. Well, it probably would have not mattered anyway that it didn’t go off until the previously set time of 7:50 because I was tossing and turning and suffering in pain. Not to go into details but if I drink too much dairy or have too many animal products, maybe it is gluten, but I am not so sure about it, but it can really affect my pelvic area. The stuff I was prescribed to treat it, makes me a crying, bloated wreck, and I worry about blood clots from it. Alternatively, I could get some kind of lacroscopic procedure, but that is totally expensive and not guaranteed to work either, so merry endometriosis. If it gets any worse, I may have no choice but to do something invasive. If it is only a few nights a month of discomfort, however, there are probably worse things in this world.

Well, now that I have totally lost the audience, I did discover a new way of adding creaminess to a sandwich while not adding too much fat plus adding some essential fatty acids. Also, the sandwich made use of some non traditional ingredients such as stir-fry carrots and broccoli, and purple cabbage for the lettuce. Totally spontaneous creative food endeavor, but fantastic and delicious:

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As far as movement, my second try into running a 5k, my philosophy will be “slow and steady”, so even though I am tempted to just start running. I am going to stick with the program and just start as scheduled the second week of the c25k program.  Hopefully my requirement to eating more calories will not sabotage my desire to get to my skinny minnie fitspo/thinspo dreams. We will see.

For the love of alliteration

Oh writing, it is such a cruel mistress at times. The burden of needing to be creative without the desire or inspiration. Okay, total lie, just been futzing around ALOT on Pinterest, busy with work, and otherwise stressed out to be focused or motivated to write. So, I guess my muse needs a bit of a direction, a map if you will. My solution for this is awkwardly assert alliteration (see what I did there) into every sense of this blog via the day of the week. So, for starters, we are going to have Motivation Monday, followed by Workout Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, and then Foodie Friday (was opting for fitness, too, but already have that covered, really!) Tuesday, Saturday, and Sunday are still up for grabs. They could be “free” days I suppose, but having a specific thing to write about really forces you to get creative and focuses, thus making you better at writing.

Spin class was pretty fun on Monday, meant to go to it last night, but laziness sometimes prevails, oh hunger too. You mean fantastically appetizing meals such as this:

Aren’t keeping you full? No, they aren’t really. The weight watchers meals are pretty gross looking, yes Jezebel wrote an article on this, and yes it made me mad because it kinda shines the light back on me that despite having plenty of time on the weekend to pre-make visually appealing treats, I choose to hit the “Easy” button and go for the ugly frozen processed to hell and back meals. It really reminds me of this image I got from Facebook:

I would say that the luxury of not having children has let me accomplish about 5 out of the 6 listed above. It is meant to be humorous but I think there is not a really good reason that you can’t have more than 2 of those things done. Again, I don’t have children, so maybe there is something I am missing, but seriously ladies (and fellas) don’t be lazy! Speaking of number 2, I have been toying with the idea of rejoining the Whole 30 army, but at the same time, there are delightful things such as this:

sorry for the dirty desk and crappy cameraphone quality!

Even though we only have these at work because I requested them and it is the holidaze, the thought of having to give up my precious sweet treats for an extended period of time (again) seems cruel and unusual, but at the same time, I did closer to my Ideal Weight than I have in like 7 years. I want my yummyness, and I want my skinniness! It reminds one of this song:

But, anywho, the question remains What is a good category for Tuesday, Saturday, and Sunday? Or should I leave them free days?

Winsday – Late Edition

Well not really, but later than I usually post. In lieu of blogging, I have been doing a bit of personal journal just to get my thoughts out of head, but preserve my privacy. Sleep has been a bit of a struggle for me. Go figure, when I calibrate my nutrition and exercise (3 day streak!) to a routine, my stress and sleep get screwed up. Oh well, thank goodness I am not striving for perfection, only consistency.

Otherwise from working and working out, I have been doing a lot of pinning on my makeup board, which is pretty popular. The ironic thing about this, however, is that I don’t even wear makeup, well way not as much as I used to, and certainly not on a day-to-day. I am just lazy like that. At least, I have started to give a damn about my hair, there is no point in spending $30 for something to look cute, and then have it look a hot mess a few days, so I actually blow dry and wash it every other day now, and try to put a hot iron on it every other day to make it look pretty. While, I would need extensions to have the kind of locks on my hair board, it is starting to look nicer.

My girl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time, well not really, but I ended going to some gay-friendly (not that there is anything wrong with that) Halloween bash, go figure. It was pretty fun, and Saturday was National Beer Day, so it would be a disgrace not to celebrate, right. Ugh, the calories, thank goodness I wasn’t the one paying for it this time, amirite?

Not so much else to say, hopefully some inspiration will come to me tomorrow.

…and cabbage, and bullshit

Besides making you have have atomic gas the next day, just eating cabbage for dinner is a great little meal that depending on what you use to boil it with happens to be primal and vegan! Unfortunately, I only had the margarine, so the “inferior” oils won for that round, but I bet it would be good with coconut or olive oil. The only issue is that it doesn’t really stick with you through the evening, so adding a protein such as boiled eggs (Yes, I actually feel sorry for my coworkers today… girl you nastay!)  Also, some grapefruit as a dessert beats the heck out of the post-dinner gas station cupcakes/zingers that I was starting to make an unhealthy habit of consuming.

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Been a bit bad when it comes to early morning food, too. Because I feel a bit calorically taken hostage by the Starbuck’s Double Shot Energy drinks at 200 calories a can, I tend to not eat much of anything during the rest of the day. This of course, makes me super hungry at night, and then likely to binge on something really gross and not at all fitspiring.

Speaking of working out, I have my trackpants on, just because I don’t know what professionalism is, and I want to go to the gym straight after work, at least I opted for the t-shirt and sports’ bra in the purse, so I maintain some workplace appropriateness. Anywho, was dancing last night, and for whatever reason, I had one of my favorite EDM albums on,  and yet still my moves were not really that great. I guess because the dream is dying for me of ever being on stage in a dance capacity again. Hell, it was probably dead 2 years ago, but I had some dream of doing it again. I would like to DJ again, if I actually knew how to (college radio doesn’t count), but I don’t know how to beatmatch, and it seems silly to take lessons with 18 year olds. Even if I will never perform again, never say never Justin Beiber, it shouldn’t stop me from enjoying the movement of dance, but somehow my histrionic tendencies know that I will never get the attention I so desperately crave. I am 31. I should really get over that shit. I think I just need a bigger space to hoop in. I think I can enjoy that and maybe one day, I will get to be as good as Neon Emu, a local hoopdancing star. She really is awesome. I have to give her props for her energy and integration of tricks into dancing:

I need to find a practice space big enough, as I can do some of those tricks, but the isolation stuff with the horizontal plane is something I have never been good at. Excuses, excuses. The nagging insecurity of everything being too late for me, or being a copycat, or being embarrassing to myself, just ultimately leads to most of my depression. Wish there was a pill to take that made you fearless. Hey girl, try not to have such a bad day today. I know it is all cloudy and raining, but things could be so much worse. Let’s not get too out of hand, here.

Just in case you don’t get the title reference, here you go:

Yoga, Tan, laundry

The good news is that I finally got my lazy ass to hot yoga, and if I really focus my efforts into going the rest of October, no days off, and even with one day off, I can still get the Svadisthana chakra recognition, by the time Halloween rolls around, so that I can celebrate with my orange bracelet. Oh, how such little things amuse me. Also some success came out of my practice serendipitously, I was not able to make it to the room early enough so I was not able to find a place close to the front or side mirror where I normally use so that I can see myself for poses. Well, it seems like that was actually a good thing as I felt like I was able to nail most of them, when I quit worrying about how I looked, and also I felt like I was less obsessed with the skinny young things in my weirdo imaginary thinspo competition that I have in my mind. I guess like the Glitch Mob song is entitled “Starve the ego, feed the soul”:

So, what is the bad news? Well, weekends are notoriously bad (even for all the other bloggers it seems) for food, just in terms of not wanting to stick to a diet, even though I baked asparagus, boiled and blended the sweet potatoes and even poached some chicken, when you sweat for an hour doing push-ups, sit-ups and leg lifts, you tend to get hungry like super hungry.  So, I succumbed to the Domino’s $7.99 pan pizza deal, oh my god, how fantastic this pizza was! Seriously, as James Norton has noted,  they have stepped up their game. I do feel like this pizza is analogous to how good fettuccine alfredo is, vis a vis something with that much butter, cheese and carbohydrates will never suck even if you are a terrible cook. Well, here are the sausage and mushroom calorie bombs (plural!!) in question:

So on a little less horribly unhealthy not, I tried eating something light on Friday night, and I always have a challenge with the Eggvacado oven dish, so I tried whisking the egg, only used a single one this time,  a bit before pouring the mixture into the avocado shell. It turned out pretty well, however a small amount of the egg spilled out on the pan as it always does when trying to balance these halves on the pan. I need some sort of ramekin to snugly hold the halves into place while the eggy-TexMex goodness gets formed. Another good idea would be probably to do sort of like a deviled-avocado mixture like with eggs but have it encased in the skin, not sure how that would be executed, but it certainly sounds good to me.

So, squatober hasn’t really been panning out how I would like, it seems like after the Whole 30, all of my dietary and fitness goals kinda fell through with them. All of my habits dissolved. I tell you one thing that really derails me is going out to drink, not that I do that very often anymore, but even just occasionally it seems that the apartment gets messy because I am too tired to clean, and I become regretful because I spent too much money furthering the cycle of depression, and I just have a general fog about me. Invention idea: some sort of drunk preparation kit, e.g.: cash for drinks so that you know how much to spend, a good hour of cleaning beforehand so that you aren’t stuck with chores in a neurochemically depleted state (hey they don’t call it “wet brain” for nothing),  and perhaps food prepared in advanced with b-vitamin and 5htp supplementation, the former to prevent thiamine deficiency and the later for any serotonin correction you need. So glad, my psychology degree has helped me in some fashion, hyuck hyuck.

I haven’t really had the kind of money to drink, so at least there is that keeping me on the straight and narrow, probably would just be better to be a bit of teetotaler for a while, at least for my wallet’s sake, if nothing else.

Spoiled Rotten

Look Austin, TX is repping some fitspo!

It’s true. I am a bit spoiled,  but hey look it is the capital and look that chick ain’t me doing that. I slept for probably 16 hours yesterday. Awesome job. I had written a bunch of stuff regarding living in a cooler zip code, but it was as if Firefox new better than me to not save the draft and when I had the brilliant idea of trying to put a paypal donate widget. By the way, WordPress is lame like that and won’t let you add forms or other HTML that isn’t just straight up text or images. WordPress dot org might be a bit better, but I am broke again after paying my bills (at least I pay them) which leads me to my new page, it kinda freaks me out that I am using my personal email, but whatevs, you have my email now, stalkers welcome. Every time I log into my accounts for the Student loans I feel like watching this video – 1:05 cracks me up — student loans are a biiitch! :

This morning at 6, the Insanity from Beachbody infomercial came on and it reminded me that I had actually obtained them. I would like to do them, but my dvd player is limited to the office and there is not much space, plus I feel kinda bad jumping around in the morning because I have downstairs neighbors and it probably sounds like a heard of buffalo stampeding. It is certainly an effective workout, if your goal is to be drenched in sweat afterwards, but I am wondering if it is HIIT in the sense that you don’t really take a lot of breaks while doing it. You basically have a  series of calisthenics/plyometrics that go from medium, fast to fastest.. found a breakdown here and it shows you how many rests you get… and it ain’t many, and HIIT according to the wikipedia article is intended to have about a 2:1 ratio of work to recovery. Just doing the workout for a few days, I have to also wonder how hard these are on your knees. High impact cardio is great for you aerobically, I am sure, but I have to wonder if your body is meant to take more than about 10 minutes of heavy impact for day. It is a very confusing task to try to discern what is good and what is bad in terms of exercise. I walk each hour at work, and that really hasn’t steered me wrong. Anyway, I may try to do some working out this evening.

Need to take some sexy food pictures, too! How about some metal for this Monday \m/:

Just for good measure, probably one of my favorite albums of all time, the mid to late 1990’s was pretty awesome for underground music even if the mainstream was shit:

Mind clutter and glitter gutter

Or something. I so want to be Cat Marnell for Halloween, look we even sort of look alike (I wish):


Source: Married to the Mob

Those leggings are super cute and cheap compared to something like Black Milk, and I kinda love everything about this picture. Now to find that top, where did you find it Cat, where??? Not that this outfit is super scandalous, but it is definitely not something I would wear to work.

So, I must confess that I have a serious addiction to social networking. The only reason that I am pretty interested in this is because it is ultimately a bad habit I would like to extinguish. I don’t habitually smoke, but Facebook is essentially my nicotine. I am not even exaggerating. For no reason, other than to be entertained by those who have more interesting lives than I do, I check my feed first thing in the morning as if it were a morning cigarette. Twitter is not that much better for me, but I only have about 600 followers on that medium as opposed to 1500 on Facebook, so I think I feel a  bit distanced. I think I want to get out of this trap, not going to take a complete break from it (although it might be beneficial)  Anyway, the steps I have taken have been to clear my history so that it is not in my browser window to check it. I think I am going to remove the application from the mobile devices. The trick was really identifying the cue that triggered my compulsion to check my feed. The cue, I have found was that I actually wanted a little bit of a reward for doing work. I mean, good thing I am staying diligent on my tasks, but I  feel like I need to find other ways to reward myself.  Yesterday I occupied my brain with finding out a bit how to use XSLT, a programming language that we use for our software. It really worked, the time melted away and I felt myself more in a “flow” state and less tempted to check social media or any of the other implements(cough, wordpress, cough) that steal my time, thanks Assemblage 23 for that line.

Not exactly following the alphabetical format, unless you count Blondie who is on the soundtrack, but one of my favorite movies is Rules of Attraction and also one of my favorite soundtracks, especially with the chilling (don’t worry, no spoilers!) themes of the movie. Listening to it gives me goosebumps, in thinking about the film. Gotta love a piece of art that will do that to you, oh dopamine. Anyway, strangely Pet Shop Boys was in my head, so in the same new wave 80’s vibe, the Erasure track from his soundtrack kinda manifested itself into my thoughts, so here we are:

Interestingly enough, I have never even read the Brett Easton Ellis book that this film is based on. I am almost afraid of doing it, because I hate becoming one of those “The book was better” people. It doesn’t always happen that way, though. I am probably in the minority here, but I actually think that “Fight Club” movie was better than the book. The movie was so visually appealing and really gave a sense of impending doom, but the book gradually alluded to his mental break, and maybe it was just because I saw the film first, it didn’t come as such a shock to me when you read it. Palahniuk, though,  is one of my favorite authors. Kinda bummed that there was no “Survivor” movie, however.  Oh well.

A case of the lazies

Making excuses, but 30 day challenges are probably best started on the start of the month, ergo I had dairy in my coffee this morning. Whoops. It isn’t like I am gaining weight either, but not making any significant strides to my goals either, except for reading, which I guess is cool. Yesterday was the defensive driving class, which I shall not name because it wasn’t great. I mean, I had very low expectations, and bless his heart he certainly was trying to be funny. For some reason I expected to see like a comedy troupe and sketch humor, but it was really just one guy and a Robin Williams very much impression (on a side note, the Family Guy where everyone turned into him was on, go figure!).  IMHO, he should really stick with the anecdotes and ease up on the impressions, but I certainly give him props on being able to fill 6 hours of time with material. I have done only 3 hours of training, and it is tough!

This is how I feel right now: flashy and eye-catching, but ultimately void of any substance!

Pew pew, I hate when I start a thought and don’t finish it. Diet has been a drag, no tracking. No Fitbit to track the steps either. Haven’t been getting 10k either, maybe a few thousand from shopping and walking around the work building but not nearly enough to be healthy. Yoga has been spotty at best, with like one home practice, despite my goal of getting 150 hours in on year. I wouldn’t even say that is a very lofty goal but that requires about a 3-4 hour commitment per week, if I want to accomplish this by July 15th of next year, maybe less since I already have 30 hours. Anyway, I would like to think my slacktastic weekend is due to my boyfriend not being around, and I feel like I have no accountability towards anyone, but that is such bullshit. Am I not accountable to myself? Maybe this is what depression is like. Who knows? At least there is music.

Music makes me lose control! Who doesn’t like music, right. My bf teases me all the time, because I am this snob about electronic, ie: I don’t listen to really anything outside of electronic, and whatever, that may be somewhat true with the exception of a few bands, but as Charles Duhigg has pointed out, this isn’t my fault. We like what is familiar, and for the past oh, 11 years, EDM has just been my thing. I sneer at jam band music, too, sorry. 😦 The librarian wants to catalog things, so here is the beginning of my list, Azoic, The:

I would write a bunch about this, but the track is about 11 years old, and maybe I am just too self-conscious about what the 12 of you think about my prose, but anything I type just seems cliché and not important. Ugh, oh so negative, I hate it.  Fear is the worst thing for creativity, don’t you agree? There are probably so many things I could talk about but the fear of being judged as too old, or not artistic enough, or shallow really makes me a bit depressed. Maybe, I just need some more liquid courage, and by that I mean caffeine, that always helps, right? Okay, now just babbling on, who would want to read this at all?  Fuck, I am feeling too anxious. I am stressed about things, but hopefully they will get resolved. I used to have such joy in this and now it feels like a chore, life feels a bit like that lately, though. Lauren needs to get her groove back.