Thankful Thursday – eating your words

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Waterloo Icehouse breakfast – so good!

So, I knew that I would regret posting that spoiled brat kind of rant, but honestly it was kind of a distraction for things that were really bothering, but did not want to publicly rant about. I can say that they are resolved. There are some other matters that need to be taken care of, but I don’t feel so crazy stressed about things, and just have a general sense that everything will work out for me.

Ah, endorphins, in my personal exercise experience, I have come to the conclusion that even if I do cardio/gym stuff at night, that I should get some activity even if it is rather light walking, in before I go to work. The well-being of exercise really carries over into my daily activities and I feel very at peace. One thing that I notice that I am doing less and less of, however, is obsessively tracking my food, but at the same time, I am not really eating much of a breakfast (coffee) or lunch (cashews, almonds  and/or pistachios from the office), and really not eating a huge dinner (too broke to get fast food, hah!) This probably isn’t the best meal plan, as I am freaking starving right now. Not really attempting to starve myself, but  I usually will just forget to pack a meal and just  not that hungry in the morning. So, I need to work on that. Thankfully I had breakfast this morning, bacon instead of fruit, as pictured.
Anywho, the struggle not to become a cardio queen continues, my gym is going to be offering ballet classes, so that might be a cool thing to try and will sneak in some strength training because it feels so hard to to do it on my own gumption.  Oh, so very hungry, only about 90 minutes until I get to rock out with stir-fry yumminess.

A little bit empty-brained, so will sign off for now.

Monday Motivation – makeup!

Day 19 or 20 (unsure of when I started) of my commitment to cosmetics. Today getting out of bed at even 8am was really tough. Drinking matcha tea has been a component to my beauty ritual, plus I hear that stuff is good for wrinkles. Win win! Here is your loveliness with her makeup done up:

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trying my best to be a morning person.

Having that boost of confidence of doing your hair and looking nicer than usual has really helped me be motivated for other things such as daily walking and/or going to the gym, even has inspired me to keep a cleaner house! It is amazing how keeping one small habit going for the magical 21 days can cascade into other behaviors that are positive and healthy. It makes sense though, why other less than desirable habits (smoking, drinking, eating fast food) can create a trap of yuckiness. Not to get into a kooky “The Secret” rambling, but it does seem that good behaviors and intentions attract good feelings, and most likely good outcomes. Well, maybe like retail, in life “you get what you pay for”. Sounds hoakey, but I think it is true.

Speaking of bad behaviors, my activity levels for Saturday were about 13k steps and yesterday was 14k! However I was feeling a bit stressed out regarding some news I got last week, and also just generally hungry (probably running a severe deficit from all those steps) so there is the binging extravaganza: one ginormous honey bun (600 calories, OMG), oreo cakesters, penguino, and oreo brownsers. Wonder, if the clerk at the gas station thought I was stoned, hah! At least I am back down to 127, which is still a one pound loss from when I originally started MFP in 2010, just wish I was back down to 119 like I was this past summer, hopefully I will be “bikini ready” again this year, but who really cares about bikinis besides college girls on spring break? Correction, no matter if you are 16 or 61, you still care about bikins. If I make it to be 61, I hope I still look good in a bikini. Not sure how that rambling came about, but yay bikinis.

Hopefully I will have some good news tomorrow, just been a crazy week, and I would like there to be a good resolution, don’t want to divulge too much, just because I don’t want to cause any alarm in anyone who may read this who knows me IRL (if that even exists). I can’t do anything but hope for the best, right?

Paleo baking and almond meal

#nowplaying: The Cult – Pure Cult
Went to “The Egg and I” for breakfast this morning, and despite the multitude of Tex-Mex places that I have been to in Austin, I opted for the “Mexican Omelet” which included a flour (gasp) tortilla, seasoned fried potatoes (double gasp) and a tasty cheese egg and salsa covered wonder of an omelet. BTW, if you are thinking I am over-indulging, keep in mind I did walk about 5 miles at a 4 incline on the treadmill. Okay, so I did hold on the rails a bit more than I should, but hell 80 minutes of cardio should count for something, right Oh and a carafe of yummy hazel coffee. I only managed to get one snap, and that was after I completed my meal:

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So, I attempted once again the Apple and Cinnamon muffins from PaleOMG, this time using more cinnamon and the right temperature for the muffins, success! So, yeah those were good, but for some reason I have had a gnawing sadness that just would not shake me today. Seriously, I have cried like 3 times today. It has been terrible, even with the caffeinated allure of Red Bull and copious amounts of coffee, I just have felt so lonely today. I feel like the friendships that I have built up in the past 5.5 years that I have resided in Austin have not meant anything, and that is a hard thing to digest. Really, the solution is to find some more compatible friends. I don’t think that there is anything fundamentally wrong with me as a person, but I can be a challenge to get along with, I certainly will admit.

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So, yes, I freaking love baking apparently, but almond meal is very expensive. However, I realized that I actually have almonds on hand, and a quick search on google reveals that with the use of a food processor, this is super duper easy to make. I think you are supposed to use almonds sans skin, but I wanted to test it out with the halves that I have. The trick is not to grind them up too much, else you will end up with almond butter. I did start to notice this on the bottom of the food processor as the mixture was adhering to the sides, so yes, be very careful of this if you try it yourself. I used a Ninja food processor to make mine and here was the result:
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Overall with the exception of skipping my yoga class (tomorrow is the free day of yoga, so I can double up) I was able to workout, clean, bake, and create something new. Admittedly, I am two beers deep, how else do you think my eloquence is so goddamned beautiful? My hair is a touch more platinum, and who doesn’t love that? By the way, The Cult is probably one of my favorite bands. I would have loved to see Ian Ashbury back when he was still hot (probably in the early 90’s and I would have been like 12) Anyway, I am rambling, so see you lovlies tomorrow. Happy Labor Day!

Whole 30 – Day 26

Doing my laundry, brewing some chai, and just having a general bout of malaise, I am trying to get motivated to do some treadmill walking in defiance of the Texas heat. The sloth is winning, and I am feeling a bit discouraged because I let the temptation of processed meats (80% sure that the ham, salami, and pepperoni, which I all sampled was cured with something considered impure in the church of Paleo). Well, screw it though, in the face of brownies, cookies, and I don’t know how many overtly dairy and gluten products, I think I did okay. I would have graded myself with a C last night, I didn’t just flunk outright by sampling the sweets, booze, or any of the carbalicious gluten treats, chips, crackers, etc. I think D would have been dairy and some of the legume delights such as hummus, oh how I miss this snack! .So, I was left with meats, veggies, and fruits. My resolve started strong, A- most of my plate was filled with vegetables and a bit of fruits to give me some artificial energy, sue me.. it is the weekend.

As the night progressed, I started eating more fruits just because it felt like I knew hardly anyone at the party and the people I did know were mostly talking amongst themselves about none other than getting wasted, just really uncomfortable for me. This may have been something that was in my head, but it seemed like the people that were drinking harder drinks were a bit too proudly displaying them in their hands. Or it could just be something that you have to do when holding that kind of beverage. Either way, the bf and I hung out mostly outside and for me I was a bit asocial. It really disturbs me, because I had this perception of myself that I was this social butterfly and that is quickly shattered by one sober night. I should have just broken down on my diet and eating a goddamned cookie, but I had to be miss bitchypants clean eater. It wasn’t really that bad, but I missed out on some yummy food, and that makes me a bit bitter.

Oh and subconsciously since I knew I was going to maybe eat a lot (not sure if you count substituting smoothies for meals, though) I decided not to track my food. That was the first time in like 35 days I hadn’t logged anything. In a way it felt liberating to not have to be accountable to MFP, but in another it was terrifying because I was not sure how bad I was messing up on my eating plan. Part of the reason I think I ate so much is because I did manage to do about 80 minutes of cardio plus an hour of yoga and guess what, I got my pink bracelet! So at least there were a lot of steps I took even in the beginning of the day – though my lazy Sunday is starting to cancel out the goodness! – and yesterday I had my to-do list set. Consistency is key, just at least set the intention. I have been successful 90% of the time, when I set an honest intention to do something. Not so much in class, when I set the intention to not fall out of poses that I had intended to not fall out of, but for the most part yes, I do meet my goals when I know that I can do them, just have to really be honest with myself.

Well, because it is such a lazy day, here is some inspiration. GET MOVING:

Day Thirty

Wow, has it already been almost a month since I started my fitness blogging journey. It has been enlightening, just to think about all of my slip-ups (pre-whole 30, of course). Really needed to get those out of the way before I committed myself to the program, though. Also learning that I am a lot more sedentary that I would like to admit to myself. The numbers don’t lie, and if anything the FitBit is probably generous with steps given that it counts hooping as running, whoops. This just means that I have to become more aware when I begin to feel my butt molding to the chair (is this just me that has that sensation when sitting for long periods of time?) Since coming into the habit of writing everyday, the ideas begin to flow more easily, and surprisingly there are a lot more deeper issues in fitness (psychology of motivation, body issues, nutrition and the science of metabolism) that lend themselves to further pontification. Okay, you are just being flowery, now, but bitches love eloquence. Meals have been more of the same, liked the egg and avocado so much that I ate it last night for dinner:

The right-most one fell out so I had to set it back in the fruit once I took it out of the oven. 20 minutes is a bit too long for baking as you can see the bottom is a bit over-done for my liking, and learning that for best results, you should scoop out a little bit more of the fruit so that egg is snugly cradled in while baking and does not slip out as the bottom one has done, but not the top.  Still a great little meal that you can fix with minimal prep work. The fat from the avocado coupled with the protein from the egg makes it very satiating.

So, my boyfriend and I have this ritual going to gas stations to get our vices. Since we both stop drinking, he has resorted to just cigarettes and a “big soda”, read 32 ounces or more, screw NYC this is Texas, and as the cliché goes, EVERYTHING IS BIGGER.  Obviously in this program, sodas whether sweetened with aspartame or corn syrup are verboten, so that leaves me with the mineral/sparkling water. I have substituted soda in the past for this, and come to quite like it, last night, however I was feeling a bit sick of just drinking water. Yes, my sugar dragon isn’t quite slain. What could I do but try to get some alternative. Enter coconut water. This puppy had only about 11.5 ounces of liquid but was only 60 calories. Because I wanted the satisfaction of drinking a lot (hey as long as it isn’t alcohol, amirite?) I decided to treat myself to a San Pellegrino and diluted the coconut water a bit:

This “mocktail” was pretty tastey. The only thing I would have changed was that I used a little bit too much mineral water. Perhaps in the future, I would add pineapple juice to give it even more of a refreshing tropical finish. It was  bit like a water pina colada, and that sounds probably bad, but sometimes if you want just a taste of something without the ill effects, you have license to make a few substitutions. I know that may go against the spirit of Whole 30, but it really seems like if you deprive yourself of everything, you are going to be worse off in the long wrong. Hell, the fact that I have survived without my beloved bread or dairy (just in the fact that I despise coffee sans creamer) for 15 days is an accomplishment, and I am not opposed to celebrating accomplishments.

Oh, yeah I didn’t go to yoga class this morning, boo, but there is Metal \m/ tomorrow.  Time for my hourly walk around the building.  Enjoy some tunes:

Day Eight

Fueled by caffeine and Emergen-C.

Bikram yoga was amazing as usual. I really feel a connection with my body and some pleasant side-effects have emerged. My body image has improved. Yesterday in class I was kinda feeling a bit insecure compared to some of the other skinnier chicks to the side of me. This has been a common problem of mine, even with the weight loss, I have been Goldilocks-ing myself into some serious insecurity. I can’t just believe that my body as it shrinks (namely my booty and boobies) is “just right” by my, ahem society’s, standards. That really sucks, too. Becoming more focused with my body and how it performs in certain asanas such as reverse table top, and bridge poses really sweat away any doubt I had brought about by my fake inadequacies.

Less impressed with the Wood 60 class than I am with the Fire. The Wood class was more Pilates based, which I suppose is good, but the temperature was not as hot and the focus was on the smaller muscle groups, where I am more about the explosive movements in Fire. I am looking toward doing the other classes, just have to balance my schedule of other classes with work. Neither the Wood nor the Fire classes had what I would consider inversion poses, which I have read are super awesome. William Broad would disagree, but with anything, don’t be an idiot. You can be injured driving a car, if you are careless, should you swear off driving, probably not. My yoga experience today was unfortunately punctuated by a talking-to by my instructor. After not being able to shower yesterday after class (both people were occupying the two showers), in the final corpse pose, I left early to dibs on the shower.  Well, I suppose that is bad yoga etiquette, and I should have just stayed. Ironically enough, no one needed the shower today in the morning class. So, I guess I will either have to find a way to not shower (ew), or avoid the lunch time classes from now on.

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