Motivation Monday: The GoGo Life.

Disclaimer, I am about 8 years old than most of these girls on this video, and while I probably will never be able to chase my dreams of being a “professional” gogo, I am okay with hitting up a few more festivals before I hit 35 and maybe put that part of my life in my history, but who knows? There are women in their 70’s who do bodybuilding competitions, why the hell couldn’t I do freaking dancing in my 30’s right? This video, in particular, was inspiring:

Love MsEasy, and her frankness and honesty, and I wish she could coach me!  Now, as I have mentioned already, even if I were in Denver, I probably have missed the boat on becoming a professional performer (maybe not with hooping, but I would need to improve drastically), but even so, it would just be so amazing to get to do an event like Electric Daisy Carnival, but I do not have much in the way of videos from performances and I would need to get an audition video out. The only problem is that, as my body is right now, I feel uncomfortable dancing around scantily clad, as one would expect from a dancer, and thus the clean eating and preparation for that. If I could just lose 20 pounds, that would go along way to making myself feel more confident with performing. I don’t want to give up on a dream, so I want to be even more focused and determined to get to where I need to be with this weight. That is why I need to SWEAT EVERY DAY (see what I did there) and just make sure all my eating habits are super balanced, gosh it is difficult but it really isn’t if you have a goal that is bigger than yourself.

Another great way to get toned is through hoopdancing, another one of my passions. Just doing some youtube surfing, I found these great tips on how to improve, and thought I would share:

I hope having the phsysique that is desired for gogo dancing will be enough to keep me  motivated. It might be a judgemental, there is just no room for flabbiness within that art. Dancing really is brutal, and I really need to evaluate my ability to be visually appealing for this particular type of performance. Any go go tips would be greatly appreciated, too. Stay sweaty!

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Social Media Siesta Sorta

Forgive me if I seem a bit delirious, because I aaaaam. Decided about a week ago to quit using Facebook and twitter for a few weeks, well just because it was making me feel bad. It’s not that I don’t enjoy finding out about every mundane thing or even sharing my own crap, but it was beginning to be a bit much and with a bit of determination (deleting the sites’ histories and applications also helped), managed to stay off the sites, but the pinning, oh that Pinterest has its pins in me, hyuck hyuck.

Why so delirious? I am pretty sure that I have been at a severe deficit calorie-wise. Yesterday was under 1200, Sunday was 1299, Saturday big numbers with 1668, but mucho cardio (see below)

Here are the running results for the weekend (the sizing is a bit off)

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Super excited about actually doing road work instead of just the treadmill. Done about 5 running miles pn the machine, but really actually going on real terrain feels so much more rewarding, not to mention doing some serious favors for my derrière. (Yeah I said it!) ooooweeee, I am back, barely, at 125 pounds, but not gonna lie it is a bit painful right now. I have a fear that tomorrow I am going to dive face first Garfield cat-style in a pan of lasagna, and you know those stouffers frozen deals are incredible, om nom nom…

Okay, freaking tired y’all, oh btw, give me some comment love, plz!

New Year’s Evolution

Of course I have this unattainable ambitious list of items that I had planned on doing back in July. What I hadn’t planned on was my life actually getting in the way of the list and well, you know, it happens. Paleo, shmaleo, I like to eat and I like to eat things I like to eat. As far as I can tell, I do not have a gluten sensitivity or intolerance, so screw it, I am going to eat low carb when I feel like it, and not so restrictive when I don’t. And guess what, with the addition of walking from a new dog, I haven’t felt like it. Go figure. Saturday, mah man and I went to Blue Baker and I ordered the Tejas Blue and it was glorious:

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I don’t even want to know how many calories it is, probably lots!

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mmmmmm, guac!

Had planned on doing a whole 30 during this month, you know as sort of a reset, and while I do agree with these reasons I just didn’t plan ahead enough. However, I did do a lot of research into my weight loss goal of 110 by this summer. Well, ideally it would be a skinny SXSW (hah, see what I did with the alliteration, yet again?) with a 20 pound loss in 10 weeks. Let’s just say the numbers are really freaking difficult to burn 3600 calories times two. Can someone definitively tell me if it is 3500 or 3600 calories per pound of fat? I have heard both, so erring on the side of caution, it was 7200 per week in my calculations. Anyway, the mathematics for losing 20 pounds in 2 months is ridiculous, so a more attainable but still pretty challenging time-frame would be 10 weeks, and for 2 pounds a week it is still 514 calorie deficit through exercise and 514 through calorie restriction. Using the Harris-Benedict equation and the BMR for each week (assuming a 2-2.5 pound weight loss per week) I would have to start out even at 130 pounds around 1200 calories, and then closer to about 1000 calories per day and zero “cheat” days to attain 110 pounds by the ides of March.

In other words, I have already fucked up! Yeah, skipping what you may call amateur hour downtown for NYE, I brunched at Trudy’s and stuffed my gullet with delicious brunch buffet treats, one overpriced mimosa, and one spicy bloody mary. Not exactly debauchery, but definitely gluttony. Today’s hot chocolate mixed with coffee plus the creamer I used in my coffee at work, by the way, not sure I would be typing so furiously without it, #justsayin (boy I wish I could get rid of the habit to write like a douche sometimes) But really, this tweet sums up what everyone should do:

In the spirit of this, I hooped for 30 minutes last night and applied makeup yesterday and today. The fake tan looks a bit Snookiish, but I look better, and not surprisingly I feel better. The working out after work foolproof plan I created, will have to be modified a bit because I adopted a dog, but I did join GymPact at a 4x a week plan, so there will be financial ramifications if I do not go to the gym, yay accountability!

Workout WINsday – how to workout after work !

Oof, just slammed three breakfast tacos from taco cabana down my throat. Had intended on going to the apartment gym this morning but instead watched the news and got breakfast, oops. Kinda scared of the nutritional information for them from MyFitnessPal, not such a pal today, more like buzzkill. No real worries, because I plan to burn all of the calories off after work, which leads me to my topic today. I would like to review ways I have found that I have been successful in going to the gym after work. Keep in mind, I don’t have children, so this may not work for everyone’s schedule, but it has helped me in getting myself sweaty.

  1. Pack your stuff the night before
  2. This is similar to those who say that you should do this for the morning workout. Around 9:30-10:30, I will get each outfit for work and for working out and at least put it near my gym bag so I have everything packed. Working out after work is just easier to me because you don’t have to end up packing all the extra stuff like towels, brushes, and/or makeup that you would if you were going straight from the gym to work. Some fancier places provide towels, but mine doesn’t, so I go the easy route and opt for the evening, but it makes it even easier when you have all of your stuff ready to go before your work day is even started.

  3. Put your gym bag on your desk as a reminder
  4. This is one that I discovered serendipitously. I had planned on going after work once and I ended up grabbing both of my purse and my gym bag. I kinda just started doing it. My bag isn’t huge, but it stick out, and much to all of your surprise it isn’t hot pink. Anyway, some people use Google calendar, I use a big bag on my desk as a reminder. It reminds me of that expression, “out of sight, out of mind”. The gym bag on the desk is a constant visual cue to myself that this task needs to be done, so therefore I do it.

  5. Don’t go home
  6. Despite having mini-facility in my apartment, I have a gym membership. Having a destination makes the experience a little bit more enjoyable, plus there is a better variety of strength and cardio machines than a residential place can offer. One of the traps that I get into however, is coming home. I could easily walk to the gym, but laziness will take over, and lookie there I am in an X-Files Marathon now! Yes, I am unrepentant couch potato, and if you put me in that environment, I will do what comes naturally and vegetate for hours. The remedy, stay away, just avoid that environment. As humans, we get into habits, the cues will always be there, but you have to change the response. Well, if I am going to be a couch potato, it will be after I get my workout completed. You don’t want to reward sitting all day with more sitting, so at least break it up with some workout time!

  7. Eat something to stave off thoughts of dinner
  8. This one is difficult, but I have learned that I will usually eat too little for lunch, and be compelled like a zombie to go grab something to eat or come home, which breaks my resolve as indicated above. So, with my schedule, I will typically have something to eat right before work ends, just so that I am not tempted to come home or worse, go to a fast food place and undo my good intentions.
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  9. Have a plan.
  10. Finally, I think this is the key to staying consistent. Right now, I haven’t been too heavy on weight lifting (yes, I am well aware of the pun), but I have been doing the c25k runnning/walking plan and this has been helpful in staying committed with the other items listed. I don’t have to workout 7 days a week, but why not, really? The recommended activity for adults is 150 minutes a week and that is at least 30 minutes a day. I try to get up and move around just at my office because of the new warnings about sitting, but exercise is so beneficial. Fitspo is one thing, but really the mental well being means more than any picture of six pack abs, but getting into the habit can be a challenge. I am telling you, though, once you do you will never quit!

Leftovers

The good thing about recording almost everything is that you will always have content, may not be the best, but hey, there are only so many ways to pontificate on how bad you want zebra cakes. Making progress on my goals, and trying to get back into the 120-125. 5 pounds increments really seem like appropriate milestones, if that hasn’t already been mentioned.

Friday’s meal was not a reflection of my effort, however. The company I work for hosted a party at Dave and Buster’s which included a $20 game card. Side-note, reminding myself that I should never ever gamble seriously. I can see how people become addicted, my “vice” was the tickets, but at the cost of not having a lot of game time. I did end up getting over 600 tickets, but the hello kitty prize I wanted was like 2400. That is an expensive stuffed animal, sheesh!  Ended up drinking a few brightly colored cocktails, but my meal was pretty good, steak and lobster Alfredo pasta, couldn’t find it on the menu of the website, but the sauce had shrimp and sun-dried tomatoes on it, too. Again, not a food snob, so it appealed to my not eaten anything substantial all day delicacies:

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It is amazing I lose any weight with how terribly I eat some days, but there have been a number of tummy grumblings and fatigues to certainly make it up with nearly fasting. Normally, on Sunday night to recalibrate my sleeping, I will feast on a “Drank”, but it appeared that they were out at the store, so instead I chose one of the Neuro drinks called Trim. It is probably not anything that is scientifically backed, but it does contain Resveratrol. I am not going to stock up on a 36 count anytime soon, though, they taste awful!

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In more self-esteem destroying news, I watched the dancer audition video for Ultra Music Festival. For those of you who don’t know, it is the Nutcracker of the EDM event performances, and if I wasn’t convinced already to become a skinny minnie, well just see for yourself:

The thing about getting down to that weight is that I am not even sure that I would be able to maintain it for more than like a week. It feels “right” to be around 120-125 pounds, but my ego and desire want to be around 110 or less! I have never had such a cognitive dissonance about something (oh you fancy, huh?) I feel like if I am gonna go semi-starving to reach my goals, because let’s be real, that is what a diet is, amirite?, I may as well go whole-hog into the world of body modification through rib-removal and corsetry (Have you seen my Pinterest?). Just kidding, I would totally get a boob job before doing that, and those things don’t come cheap! Silliness aside, if I get down to my UGW, ugh I am one of them now, I will try to maintain it without driving myself totally mad. If not, well maybe it is time to chose another hobby.

Lemon water & avocado mayonaise

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This looks so much more appetizing than apple pie, right?

Like my carbohydrate vices, the promise of a new year brings with it the false hope that I will miraculously change my habitually poor lifestyle choices and become a beacon of health and wellness. Right. Part of me hopes that I get a little bit sick, just to shed 5 pounds that I effortlessly put on with the help of Cinnabon and tex-mex cuisine, but that typically is weight that gets regained. Oh, there are a few hacks I have been employing to get back down to post-Whole 30, and one of them is the wonderfully fantastic diuretic inducing lemon water!

You could say that I am on a detox of sorts, but not really because we all know that even if you starve yourself for a week, like getting sick, it just is going to creep up on you with a vengeance. I hate to be one of those chicks who obsesses about the number on the scale, but if I don’t I feel like I easily gain 5-10 pounds without even trying. Speaking of gaining or losing weight, my new goal as insane as it may sound is to get rid of 20 pounds. 127 at 64″ is simply unacceptable as stereotypically girl as that sounds. “oh I am so fat” when it is obvious I am at a normal BMI. In model terms, I am still a whale, but you would have to put me on a medieval torture rack to get me close to model terms. I have never been under 110 (at least not since I was 10) It is what I would like to call “dancer weight”. It is about to be festival season, and one of my bucket list items is to hoop or at least gogo at a huge festival. I sorta did this at 2009’s Spring Love, Future Fest, Mega Buzz in Austin (shouts to my central Texas ravers) but those aren’t really huge like the Insomniac shows, and y’all know I would love to meet Paris Hilton. But, I digress, yeah 107 might be totally turn me into “Black Swan” but it would be interesting to see how thin I could get without being full-on anorexic.

If my mind and body won’t sabotage me from working out. This morning, I had a meeting scheduled for 9:00 am (they cancelled and that is why I am writing this) so I knew I was going to need to be getting up early so supposedly I had set my alarm for 6:15. Well, it probably would have not mattered anyway that it didn’t go off until the previously set time of 7:50 because I was tossing and turning and suffering in pain. Not to go into details but if I drink too much dairy or have too many animal products, maybe it is gluten, but I am not so sure about it, but it can really affect my pelvic area. The stuff I was prescribed to treat it, makes me a crying, bloated wreck, and I worry about blood clots from it. Alternatively, I could get some kind of lacroscopic procedure, but that is totally expensive and not guaranteed to work either, so merry endometriosis. If it gets any worse, I may have no choice but to do something invasive. If it is only a few nights a month of discomfort, however, there are probably worse things in this world.

Well, now that I have totally lost the audience, I did discover a new way of adding creaminess to a sandwich while not adding too much fat plus adding some essential fatty acids. Also, the sandwich made use of some non traditional ingredients such as stir-fry carrots and broccoli, and purple cabbage for the lettuce. Totally spontaneous creative food endeavor, but fantastic and delicious:

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As far as movement, my second try into running a 5k, my philosophy will be “slow and steady”, so even though I am tempted to just start running. I am going to stick with the program and just start as scheduled the second week of the c25k program.  Hopefully my requirement to eating more calories will not sabotage my desire to get to my skinny minnie fitspo/thinspo dreams. We will see.

Quit Complaining

I feel like that I bitch a lot,and while complaining about complaining is still complaining, I really need to stop it. Firsthand, I noticed that Johnny would complain about some commercial or something that I would say or just something when we are hanging out, and it is super annoying, but then I realized that I probably complain just as much as he does, and how do I have any right to bring it up, if I don’t control my complaining.

So, I have compiled a list of common complaints that I have and responses or solutions that I can use to counter them

    1. “I’m bored.”
      This one is a pretty piss poor thing to say no matter who you are, and frankly I am way too old to be complaining about this. Usually it is during the weekend and it is that between time of having cleaned up my apartment, watched all my Hulu episodes and sometime before bedtime. This is a good 4pm to midnight (or later if I get crunk — 2004 called…) window. So, the solution, Read a motherfuckin book. Yep, there are a lot of things that don’t involve stuffing my face with fast food, or going downtown, or whatever not good idea that I have that will temporary alleviate my ennui but push me further away from my goals.
    2. “I’m hungry.”
      Eat something, dummy. Okay this time, but without the inflammatory language. I usually have a pretty good gauge of hunger vs. stress/boredom eating, so I tend not to mindlessly snack, but I do get cravings for the sweet stuff around 8 or 9pm, so this is one that I have to be careful with. Everyone knows the difference between eating zingers and nachos and actually nurturing yourself with good food. I often will skip meals at work because I had forgotten my food at home, and/or too lazy to get something down the street, so really unless I plan on eating something, I really need to ditch this complaint and be more prepared when it comes to my meals.
    3. “I don’t have any money”
      This one is valid. With my student loans, car, and credit card payments, I often am quite broke, however, with budgeting there is really no excuse I run out of funds. However, it is often the case, that I am shopping or eating out, and that is where the money sinkhole happens. This has been really challenging for me, because I let my emotions override my reason and I seem to lose the breaks on them, and eventually end up skidding into some bad decision. There seems to be a pattern I am noticing as I write this, and that is each of these things I complain about seem to cascade into each other. I get bored so I spend too much money then I don’t have any money, and then I am hungry (sometimes it is that bad). I am hungry, so let’s go spend some more money then I don’t have any money, so I can’t do anything and I am bored. All of my problems seem to somewhat be related, so maybe if I could just get control of my emotional immaturity I would gain control of my problems. It sounds easy, but you have to be willing to actually put the work into it.
    4. “I’m too ______”
      This one is a little bit different in that it relates to some problems that I should just get over, eg: being flat-chested or being old. Yes, I have wrinkles, but should I be smoking and making them worse. NO! The flat-chested thing I should just get over as I have a boyfriend and any one who would just be with me for my tits is probably not worth being with in the first place. Can you say Douchebag? Sometimes the blank is “fat” or “flabby”, and well, that relates more to the first 3 problems. If I eat too much I weigh too much for my liking and if I keep my diet tight, I get skinnier, pretty easy right? At the risk of being repetitive, it is all about emotions. and if you can’t control your emotions, you can’t control your life which includes the discipline to workout every day, keeping a mindful yoga practice, and with keeping your food intake clean and not stuffing your face with sugary food. It is all connected, as I am realizing even just writing this.
    5. “No one wants to hang out with me.”
      No, no one wants to hang out with someone who is constantly having problems and can’t get his or her shit together. This one really just sums up the crux of the issues and that is, all together now, emotional control. People use the term “Negative Nancy” and I feel like maybe I am that kind of person who complains all the time, thus no one wants to be around it. I have been around people who bitch a lot and it really gets tiring after a while. So, really just shut the fuck up already. Not to be unkind to myself, but I need a bit of tough love as they say. I need to get my shit together, or as my dad would say “get your big girl pants on” and just deal with my problems instead of complaining about them, and I think only then will things start to fall into place for me, and maybe you, too!

    Okay, so yeah, that was quite a long winded entry, but I really got to the crux of my problems. It is all about control, and I need to get that back in my life if I want to gain any semblance of sanity.

Clearing out the clutter

Second day of Squatober, and boy are my hammies screaming. Surprisingly my glutes are not very sore at all, perhaps they are as lifted as they are going to get from all the stairs and the dancing. Insomnia struck again this morning, not sure what time, but it was still dark out, so it probably was around 4:30 or 5 am. This is for the birds, it is keeping me from getting to my 7:30 class, really just considering of cancelling the membership if I can’t make it to the class, on the weekdays or weekends, but I don’t want to feel like a quitter either. 4 weeks or 28 days until Halloween, if I put my efforts towards attending class from tomorrow onward, I can get an orange focus bracelet from Sunstone, because I really need to get past the vagina chakra (what? I am not making this up!) Urrrgah, legs are really sure, not sure how I am going to dance tonight, but I will certainly try. Want to find the best mix of hard music and rhythm so that I am not just flailing around, but I am simply better than Gangham style.

Last night, I got rid of a slue of books/magazines and sold (if you really want to call it that) them to Half Priced Books for $6. On the bright side, they were kinda just taking up space in the office, but man, I was really hoping for at least $10, come on, no one wants to buy a Flash 8 book? Yeah, pretty much all outdated software, and some fitness books. I imagine by how many copies of some of their fitness books, that they are highly devalued,  just economics, baby.  But, hey, after a few days of clean-ish eating I was able to get back to 120.8 this morning. Freaking sodium, I knew I did consume a lot with the foods this weekend, but I didn’t think I would retain 3 pounds of water. My belly even looked bloated, really sure that was actual fat, and some of it is, but my clothes do feel a bit loser today than they did on Sunday. No more Chinese takeout for me, well unless I want to freak out for a few days about my weight, and who really needs that?  One bit of complaint is that my arms feel way too soft, like I feel like if I wagged them really hard I could use them as propellers and take them to Japan without having to worry about airfare! (it is one of my goals this birth year to go to another continent) Perhaps, a Curlvember?

I do eat a lot of stir-fry when I cook.  Because I try to stick with mostly paleo at least at home, I don’t make the yummy yummmmy fried rice that we get from the takeout. Even with the effort of having to get the groceries and cook for yourself, there is a bit of advantage when you have the control of cooking it by yourself. I have not gotten the trick of sauce yet, however with clean ingredients. For example, I tried to get a beef/broccoli base with ingredients such as coconut aminos, coconut flower, olive oil, and coconut oil. I think if I would have actually started cooking the broccoli sooner, the sauce would have not burned and I would have a better consistency, so yes the sauce became a little bit clumped (probably should have not added the almond meal, either), however the taste was good and that is really what matters, right?:

Whole 30 – Day 31

Good morning, early birdies. Who has two thumbs and is drinking coffee with coffeemate and a teaspoon of sugar? This gal! My god, have you learned nothing?? Nope, I feel so good that I surprisingly have zero cravings for fast food (right now) and I feel like I could easily integrate being gluten free. I have a little bit of anxiety about a “paleo” muffin I consumed and not made by me while on the Whole 30, however, as I noticed most of the muffin recipes  do contain honey. But, you know, if I was not concerned about the possibility of added sugars in the cured meats I ate, then why should I stress about something like that. Regardless, I feel like this right now:

Oh and just because Hyper Crush is rockin’ so much bass (I can’t even feel my face):

I really want to reward myself. Not so much with food, but perhaps a year membership to Planet Fitness. They are kinda ghetto, though, no classes or any amenities, but a crapload better than the gym in the apartment clubhouse, plus there is a Groupon today. Perhaps, I should more focus on my goals with the yoga, though. I can understand why people like to go somewhere to workout, though. In my not so distant youth, I would often go to the bar just to get out of my apartment, needless to say that this can get a bit expensive. But definitely can’t afford that anymore, so my since of wanderlust needs to be quenched with something, because even though we do have a workout area, it just feels like a mini adventure, plus I would feel smug as hell to be mayor of a fitness establishment on Foursquare. How very dorky! So, what is everyone’s experience with PF? I would only be getting the $10 (technically it would be $8.25) do you think that it is worth it? Since I have a few days to decide, I will do some further contemplation on it and decide what I will do. If they offer free wifi in the gym, it will be hard to say no, I can tell you that.

So, results results results. Happy to report that my waistline is about 25″ and that I weighed in at 117 this morning! Okay, so last time I weighed in about 2 weeks ago, I was around 119. Really only a net loss of about 2 pounds, but I am going to defer to this article in defense of such a low number. I was talking about the program and already I feel like an ambassador to It Starts With Food, recommended that my coworker at least check it out from the public library (I bought it before I realized that it was available for free) I can’t pinpoint what exactly is making my feel better, but certainly the combination has affected me. The diet plus yoga has done something,  and maybe the cardio and strength are not the biggest priorities (why the hell did I call my blog fitorama, then?) but I manage to squeeze in 10k steps and that is a daunting accomplishment in itself. Well, as Drake would say, “it’s far from over”:

Day Fourteen

Bittersweet victory.  120 pounds and some change, however that doesn’t change the fact that I had four hours of sleep last night, smoked a cigarette, drank a “Toffee” monster coffee drink, and now finishing it off with a diet coke. Hey, if you are going to backslide, really get into it. Okay, so it is not like I am going full-tilt Sex Pistols with my vices, but for someone who is trying to write a health and fitness blog, it is pretty shitty.  Not to divulge too much personal information, if you had the night I did, you probably would be feeling rather bad as well. I really need to detox negativity in my life. You just can’t make people change, unless they want to. Why can’t I just learn this lesson already?

Taking a break from any strenuous cardio or hot yoga today, not really because I want to but because I need to. The lack of sleep is making me irritable, anxious and depressed. Three for the price of one! I don’t really have any religious leanings, but it would not be a terrible thing if you prayed for me or at least sent me some positive thoughts as I am having a really hard time with things. Yours in tears.