Trying to keep it all together

I shouldn’t even really be posting about my problems, because they are pretty miniscule in comparison to what I could be dealing with. However, there are many things I want to complain about, but I “can’t”. I could if I wanted to be a bitch, but then again that would just add to the drama. Let’s just use wonderfully ambiguous terms, so we don’t have to address the real problems, yeah that’s the ticket. I am not even sure what the point is anymore to any of these. I can’t do the things I like to do because of financial limitations, and it bothers me. I can’t get out of the financial limitations because of even more financial limitations (moving costs money, you see)  and even if I did have the money to move, there is just no opportunity, for me at least. Nice job spending $30,000 for an education that did not pay off. Believe it or not, I actually have a Master’s degree, which I feel like I should barbecue sometimes because it does me little good. I won’t go down without a fight, per the cliché. The little improvements in my life such as trying to keep a budget (could be why I am so depressed) and learning programming are improving my self-esteem and sense of control, but it is a challenge to feel not completely overwhelmed with worry about not being able to keep my shit together as it were.  Maybe it is all the caffeine I consume during the day, but I also suffer from insomnia just because I worry about the future, and trying to take care of everyone and trying to be a generally good person (which apparently I am not) Sigh, don’t air out your dirty laundry, just don’t do it.

Yeah, I am supposed to be busy, but I can’t help but be a little bit upset that I am negative money right now (my fault, of course). Oh god, I feel like such a spoiled brat for complaining about this, but here goes. So, I won tickets for this show in Dallas on the 4th, but between my budget for all the bills that I have due, the rent, and just general living expenses for groceries and such, not sure how I will be able to afford getting Lucy boarded and paying for the hotel to be able to stay overnight. (without getting back into lovely credit card debt). So, it feels like a huge shit show, to even go to Dallas, FUCKING DALLAS!! Are you kidding me?? I am not asking to go to Milan or something extravagant, just a 3 hour trip out of town. It is ridiculous, the fact that I can’t afford to even do that makes me fucking sick to my stomach. I feel like such a failure at life. Okay, shut up and get back to work.

Work(it)out Wednesday – Spring into Summer!

Vacation, time to get away!

So, with the lack of inspiration, I am going to steal like an artist and piggyback from a post by ChicFitChef  yesterday and talk about the summer time. Around this time the diet and fitness industry is really going into overdrive about bikini season and giving our collective body dysmorphic disorders a shot of adrenaline. Well, I can’t really help being unhappy with your body, as that is a personal journey that even my zen (yeah right) self struggles with almost daily. But, as far as self-improvement, there are a few things that we can all do to look our best for the beach:

1. Ditch the Booze
Spring Break is over, and you probably need a good detox as it were. Sure happy hours that turn into late hours are fun, but really do you need to add those extra calories. Clean eating is not easy but, IMO, teetotaling is. Okay, so you may have to become a hermit, at least that has been my experience in Austin, y’all love to drink! Also, once you give up the sauce, then I feel like it builds the better habit to do more stricter elimination such as sugar/processed carbs. Admittedly, I was going to recommend a Whole 30, but really a sensible diet plan can get you there, just takes more like 60 days versus 30.

2. C U later
So after some research, because I am truthful I decided to ditch my hypothesis about Vitamin C,  cortisol and weight loss because of this. I am not going to dismiss Vitamin C for weight loss however, because of this. Not to mention its many other health benefits, Vitamin C assists in collagen synthesis, and I think you know where I am going with this. Oh no, the c-word, dun dun dun.. CELLULITE. I don’t have any articles to back me up here, but it stands to reason, if collagen is the result of the breakdown of collagen, and you are taking something that restores it? (not sure if that is accurate, biologists help me out here) that Vitamin C would at least mitigate future attacks of this dreaded orange peel accessory. Anyway, I am trying it, and will let you know if that works out for me, do keep in my my confounding variables of other nutrition and exercise, for you more skeptical readers!

3. Sleepytime!
Feel like a big ole hypocrite for advising on this one because I had like 3 hours of sleep last night, but study after study after study has linked sleep with weight loss, and I feel like it needs to be repeated in this insomniac society we live that getting some shut-eye can greatly improve our health. Also, it just makes you feel better, and when you feel better, you look better, totally anecdotal, but probably true.

Workout WINsday – night moves!

With the one beer I drank last night (the horror!), I ended up with a 30 calorie surplus than I should have had, however, there was a lot of activity as you can see in the chart below:

Some of that was C25K, and if I haven’t mentioned I am training for The Electric Run at the end of March and some of that was plain ole fashioned dancing, burpees and jumping jacks. This morning was incredibly difficult to get out of bed even! Have also made some money from Gym Pact:

Slowly but steadily seeing results, and ended up only spending about $45 on groceries (for two people!!) last night. Well, mostly because it was not my money I was spending, and unfortunately,  I did buy a lot of processed stuff like instant mashed potatoes, pasta, macaroni and cheese, and “helper” foods. However I was sure to make sure that at least half of the items were vegetables and fruits, so that was a win.   So since we are on the subject of stats, check out this mess:

BOOM!

Yep, I set a record 382 views yesterday, now it is nowhere near my goal of 1,000 visitors but it is a HUGE spike in traffic. Thanks to a nod from Go Kaleo so happy with that.  I thought I had a bit more to say, but I suppose I don’t so here is a picture of Early Cuyler:

More random images that I find on my compy…. I have been told that I look like Rachael McAdams (that picture was supposed to be about wanting to always lose 3lbs), not sure if I see the resemblance, but I will take the complement nonetheless!

Well, this post is going nowhere fast, so I bid Adieu!

Trancercise!

I could only imagine how fit I would be, if I danced non-stop to something like this, of course my gym bans social media including YouTube (wtf?, no BodyRock?), so whatever. [it even has a 7 minute intro track, great for warming up]

Actually, I have falling off the wagon quite a bit this week. Even with the workout tips last week, there has been a bit of stress and struggle to get things up and running. Not sure where the motivation went, well for one, the apartment has been super messy and it sorta reflects how irresponsible I have been with money planning and also food planning.  Been trying to hone my photography skills, even if I don’t have the best tools available: HTC EVO 3D camera, here are some shots, please do leave feedback. These are mostly unedited, so I am anxious to know if I am getting better:

Vasquez Taco: Nopalitos Plate ~ 750 Calories

Noodles and Company: Small Japanese Pan Noodles – 320 calories

Thai Kitchen (prepared at home) noodles ~ 160 calories

How Do you Roll – 3 alarm roll: 381 calories

The Japanese noodles were very flavorful, however, had to eat the Thai noodles to feel satisfied later. Yes, attendance at the gym has been less than desired, and really it is due to a lack of preparedness on my part, but at least my photos suck less, right? Need to work on lighting for sure,  but without having any knowledge of the art of photography it seems the composition of the photos is better, and they are less blurry, so I am getting there!

Workout WINsday – how to workout after work !

Oof, just slammed three breakfast tacos from taco cabana down my throat. Had intended on going to the apartment gym this morning but instead watched the news and got breakfast, oops. Kinda scared of the nutritional information for them from MyFitnessPal, not such a pal today, more like buzzkill. No real worries, because I plan to burn all of the calories off after work, which leads me to my topic today. I would like to review ways I have found that I have been successful in going to the gym after work. Keep in mind, I don’t have children, so this may not work for everyone’s schedule, but it has helped me in getting myself sweaty.

1. Pack your stuff the night before

This is similar to those who say that you should do this for the morning workout. Around 9:30-10:30, I will get each outfit for work and for working out and at least put it near my gym bag so I have everything packed. Working out after work is just easier to me because you don’t have to end up packing all the extra stuff like towels, brushes, and/or makeup that you would if you were going straight from the gym to work. Some fancier places provide towels, but mine doesn’t, so I go the easy route and opt for the evening, but it makes it even easier when you have all of your stuff ready to go before your work day is even started.
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2. Put your gym bag on your desk as a reminder

This is one that I discovered serendipitously. I had planned on going after work once and I ended up grabbing both of my purse and my gym bag. I kinda just started doing it. My bag isn’t huge, but it stick out, and much to all of your surprise it isn’t hot pink. Anyway, some people use Google calendar, I use a big bag on my desk as a reminder. It reminds me of that expression, “out of sight, out of mind”. The gym bag on the desk is a constant visual cue to myself that this task needs to be done, so therefore I do it.

3. Don’t go home

Despite having mini-facility in my apartment, I have a gym membership. Having a destination makes the experience a little bit more enjoyable, plus there is a better variety of strength and cardio machines than a residential place can offer. One of the traps that I get into however, is coming home. I could easily walk to the gym, but laziness will take over, and lookie there I am in an X-Files Marathon now! Yes, I am unrepentant couch potato, and if you put me in that environment, I will do what comes naturally and vegetate for hours. The remedy, stay away, just avoid that environment. As humans, we get into habits, the cues will always be there, but you have to change the response. Well, if I am going to be a couch potato, it will be after I get my workout completed. You don’t want to reward sitting all day with more sitting, so at least break it up with some workout time!

4. Eat something to stave off thoughts of dinner

This one is difficult, but I have learned that I will usually eat too little for lunch, and be compelled like a zombie to go grab something to eat or come home, which breaks my resolve as indicated above. So, with my schedule, I will typically have something to eat right before work ends, just so that I am not tempted to come home or worse, go to a fast food place and undo my good intentions.


5. Have a plan.

Finally, I think this is the key to staying consistent. Right now, I haven’t been too heavy on weight lifting (yes, I am well aware of the pun), but I have been doing the c25k runnning/walking plan and this has been helpful in staying committed with the other items listed. I don’t have to workout 7 days a week, but why not, really? The recommended activity for adults is 150 minutes a week and that is at least 30 minutes a day. I try to get up and move around just at my office because of the new warnings about sitting, but exercise is so beneficial. Fitspo is one thing, but really the mental well being means more than any picture of six pack abs, but getting into the habit can be a challenge. I am telling you, though, once you do you will never quit!

Winsday – Late Edition

Well not really, but later than I usually post. In lieu of blogging, I have been doing a bit of personal journal just to get my thoughts out of head, but preserve my privacy. Sleep has been a bit of a struggle for me. Go figure, when I calibrate my nutrition and exercise (3 day streak!) to a routine, my stress and sleep get screwed up. Oh well, thank goodness I am not striving for perfection, only consistency.

Otherwise from working and working out, I have been doing a lot of pinning on my makeup board, which is pretty popular. The ironic thing about this, however, is that I don’t even wear makeup, well way not as much as I used to, and certainly not on a day-to-day. I am just lazy like that. At least, I have started to give a damn about my hair, there is no point in spending $30 for something to look cute, and then have it look a hot mess a few days, so I actually blow dry and wash it every other day now, and try to put a hot iron on it every other day to make it look pretty. While, I would need extensions to have the kind of locks on my hair board, it is starting to look nicer.

My girl likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time, well not really, but I ended going to some gay-friendly (not that there is anything wrong with that) Halloween bash, go figure. It was pretty fun, and Saturday was National Beer Day, so it would be a disgrace not to celebrate, right. Ugh, the calories, thank goodness I wasn’t the one paying for it this time, amirite?

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Not so much else to say, hopefully some inspiration will come to me tomorrow.