Motivation Monday: The GoGo Life.

Disclaimer, I am about 8 years old than most of these girls on this video, and while I probably will never be able to chase my dreams of being a “professional” gogo, I am okay with hitting up a few more festivals before I hit 35 and maybe put that part of my life in my history, but who knows? There are women in their 70’s who do bodybuilding competitions, why the hell couldn’t I do freaking dancing in my 30’s right? This video, in particular, was inspiring:

Love MsEasy, and her frankness and honesty, and I wish she could coach me!  Now, as I have mentioned already, even if I were in Denver, I probably have missed the boat on becoming a professional performer (maybe not with hooping, but I would need to improve drastically), but even so, it would just be so amazing to get to do an event like Electric Daisy Carnival, but I do not have much in the way of videos from performances and I would need to get an audition video out. The only problem is that, as my body is right now, I feel uncomfortable dancing around scantily clad, as one would expect from a dancer, and thus the clean eating and preparation for that. If I could just lose 20 pounds, that would go along way to making myself feel more confident with performing. I don’t want to give up on a dream, so I want to be even more focused and determined to get to where I need to be with this weight. That is why I need to SWEAT EVERY DAY (see what I did there) and just make sure all my eating habits are super balanced, gosh it is difficult but it really isn’t if you have a goal that is bigger than yourself.

Another great way to get toned is through hoopdancing, another one of my passions. Just doing some youtube surfing, I found these great tips on how to improve, and thought I would share:

I hope having the phsysique that is desired for gogo dancing will be enough to keep me  motivated. It might be a judgemental, there is just no room for flabbiness within that art. Dancing really is brutal, and I really need to evaluate my ability to be visually appealing for this particular type of performance. Any go go tips would be greatly appreciated, too. Stay sweaty!

Monday Motivation – makeup!

Day 19 or 20 (unsure of when I started) of my commitment to cosmetics. Today getting out of bed at even 8am was really tough. Drinking matcha tea has been a component to my beauty ritual, plus I hear that stuff is good for wrinkles. Win win! Here is your loveliness with her makeup done up:

trying my best to be a morning person.

Having that boost of confidence of doing your hair and looking nicer than usual has really helped me be motivated for other things such as daily walking and/or going to the gym, even has inspired me to keep a cleaner house! It is amazing how keeping one small habit going for the magical 21 days can cascade into other behaviors that are positive and healthy. It makes sense though, why other less than desirable habits (smoking, drinking, eating fast food) can create a trap of yuckiness. Not to get into a kooky “The Secret” rambling, but it does seem that good behaviors and intentions attract good feelings, and most likely good outcomes. Well, maybe like retail, in life “you get what you pay for”. Sounds hoakey, but I think it is true.

Speaking of bad behaviors, my activity levels for Saturday were about 13k steps and yesterday was 14k! However I was feeling a bit stressed out regarding some news I got last week, and also just generally hungry (probably running a severe deficit from all those steps) so there is the binging extravaganza: one ginormous honey bun (600 calories, OMG), oreo cakesters, penguino, and oreo brownsers. Wonder, if the clerk at the gas station thought I was stoned, hah! At least I am back down to 127, which is still a one pound loss from when I originally started MFP in 2010, just wish I was back down to 119 like I was this past summer, hopefully I will be “bikini ready” again this year, but who really cares about bikinis besides college girls on spring break? Correction, no matter if you are 16 or 61, you still care about bikins. If I make it to be 61, I hope I still look good in a bikini. Not sure how that rambling came about, but yay bikinis.

Hopefully I will have some good news tomorrow, just been a crazy week, and I would like there to be a good resolution, don’t want to divulge too much, just because I don’t want to cause any alarm in anyone who may read this who knows me IRL (if that even exists). I can’t do anything but hope for the best, right?

Lemon water & avocado mayonaise

This looks so much more appetizing than apple pie, right?

Like my carbohydrate vices, the promise of a new year brings with it the false hope that I will miraculously change my habitually poor lifestyle choices and become a beacon of health and wellness. Right. Part of me hopes that I get a little bit sick, just to shed 5 pounds that I effortlessly put on with the help of Cinnabon and tex-mex cuisine, but that typically is weight that gets regained. Oh, there are a few hacks I have been employing to get back down to post-Whole 30, and one of them is the wonderfully fantastic diuretic inducing lemon water!

You could say that I am on a detox of sorts, but not really because we all know that even if you starve yourself for a week, like getting sick, it just is going to creep up on you with a vengeance. I hate to be one of those chicks who obsesses about the number on the scale, but if I don’t I feel like I easily gain 5-10 pounds without even trying. Speaking of gaining or losing weight, my new goal as insane as it may sound is to get rid of 20 pounds. 127 at 64″ is simply unacceptable as stereotypically girl as that sounds. “oh I am so fat” when it is obvious I am at a normal BMI. In model terms, I am still a whale, but you would have to put me on a medieval torture rack to get me close to model terms. I have never been under 110 (at least not since I was 10) It is what I would like to call “dancer weight”. It is about to be festival season, and one of my bucket list items is to hoop or at least gogo at a huge festival. I sorta did this at 2009’s Spring Love, Future Fest, Mega Buzz in Austin (shouts to my central Texas ravers) but those aren’t really huge like the Insomniac shows, and y’all know I would love to meet Paris Hilton. But, I digress, yeah 107 might be totally turn me into “Black Swan” but it would be interesting to see how thin I could get without being full-on anorexic.

If my mind and body won’t sabotage me from working out. This morning, I had a meeting scheduled for 9:00 am (they cancelled and that is why I am writing this) so I knew I was going to need to be getting up early so supposedly I had set my alarm for 6:15. Well, it probably would have not mattered anyway that it didn’t go off until the previously set time of 7:50 because I was tossing and turning and suffering in pain. Not to go into details but if I drink too much dairy or have too many animal products, maybe it is gluten, but I am not so sure about it, but it can really affect my pelvic area. The stuff I was prescribed to treat it, makes me a crying, bloated wreck, and I worry about blood clots from it. Alternatively, I could get some kind of lacroscopic procedure, but that is totally expensive and not guaranteed to work either, so merry endometriosis. If it gets any worse, I may have no choice but to do something invasive. If it is only a few nights a month of discomfort, however, there are probably worse things in this world.

Well, now that I have totally lost the audience, I did discover a new way of adding creaminess to a sandwich while not adding too much fat plus adding some essential fatty acids. Also, the sandwich made use of some non traditional ingredients such as stir-fry carrots and broccoli, and purple cabbage for the lettuce. Totally spontaneous creative food endeavor, but fantastic and delicious:

As far as movement, my second try into running a 5k, my philosophy will be “slow and steady”, so even though I am tempted to just start running. I am going to stick with the program and just start as scheduled the second week of the c25k program.  Hopefully my requirement to eating more calories will not sabotage my desire to get to my skinny minnie fitspo/thinspo dreams. We will see.

I heart turmeric!

Someone needs to make a stop at Penzeys because this gal is out of my favorite spice. When there are so many other sexy flavors such as cayenne and the answer really lies in curcumin. Although the studies cited in that page may not translate to humans, it certainly does not hurt to add it to your food, in fact, it probably makes you less hurt from your workouts, due to its anti-inflammatory effects, so that is a definite plus. Also, there is research to suggest that its chemicals have the ability to block subcutaneous fat, which is the fat that no one really likes. My poor little bottle needs to be filled up again!

Took a break from my ritual (well it wasn’t really so much established yet) to try a noodle place in Austin called Chen-Z. I am not too familiar with this hot pot business, so I decided on just getting the “Chen Z original” which contained some noodles and vegetables that I am also not familiar with (sorry, I am not really a foodie, I just pretend to be one on the internet).

The appetizer was decent, had sort of a vinegary flavor. The table next to me almost kept me from enjoying the meal with their needless political chatter, but I was able to shit-talk on twitter, and distract myself with my phone to enjoy the meal.

The noodle broth and meat reminded me a bit of Pho, but I think they were egg based? Regardless really tasty, if not a bit heavy for a Saturday lunch.  The Wal-Mart expedition after lunch prompted me to go cheap, super cheap, on food, because I wanted to get new linens and needed a new vacuum. It is disgusting how inexpensive these items are, and yes I am a bit hypocritical because I feel like such a conscientious consumer for watching all these documentaries, yet I still buy a $40 vacuum cleaner.  The big steals of the day are .67 Thai rice noodles, and pictured below $1.00 for double pack of scalloped potatoes. There is some joke about rapper potatoes that I don’t feel like making, you know fitty cents? –because it is a twin pack, hyuck.

Because I feel like I have done enough self-bashing for one day, I won’t mention how pissed I am for weighing 128 pounds, and that is taking into account the diuretic effect of the cabbage. So, yeah, it is noted, and I am not happy about it. Only way to fix it is to tighten up that diet. Sure the processed food is not doing me any favors. Considering getting back on the Whole 30, like everyone else and their mom come January, and it seems doable. Going on a diet during the holidays sucks ass, and I actually want to have fun at my stepsisters shindig this year, as I had to awkwardly pass up the yummy dairy and carbohydrate delights, and the booze, of course. The drinks are easy to pass up, but the food is not. I am only human, ya know, but do I really want to be this heavy? It certainly is a choice that you have to make.

Monday Motivation – beware the ides of sodium

It is almost comical how badly I have eaten this weekend. Friday started out with the yummy yummy Chimichanga plate from ZuZu’s, ps: I am like 3 days away from being mayor on Foursquare. No pictures because I am a bad blogger. Saturday, was oh so fantastic Pho from PhotNatic (whoops, no pictures either), with the flavors of the dish, I can’t imagine it not having a lot of salt in it, however, you can’t go wrong with those flavors. This put me into what I refer to as a Phoma. McDonald’s was for dinner, yes gross I know, and due to lack of nicotine, as my social smoking habit is a bit more of an addiction that I would like to admit,  I wanted a sweet treat.  This meant, of course, to gorge on a medium Choco-Mint blizzard from DQ. Yum, and that put me into what I refer to as a Bloma. Yes, I do realize that sounds uncomfortably close to something vulgar described in Urban Dictionary.  Sunday’s weigh-in really illuminated how crappily I ate on Saturday, up to 124.4!! That is a 7 pound delta from my lowest. Yet, somehow I still ate Pizza Rolls and chugged cola during Family Guy last night. Like I said, almost comical how badly I ate. No plan of action on how I am gonna shed this excess water weight, assuming I haven’t actually put on any fat. I did do some cleaning yesterday, but the gym was much less appealing than stuffing my face apparently.

Not going to beat myself up about it, but it still sucks. As already mentioned, weekends are tough. Dealing with stress is tough. Emotional eating is awful, and I feel like I have done a lot of that lately. Maybe it is time to take advantage of those free yoga classes? I didn’t even go to cardio on Saturday, boo! What is a bummer, is that my hourly walks around the office are shortened because I am a pansy and don’t like the cold. Well, maybe I need to beat myself up a little bit. The whole point of writing all this was to serve as a bit of a documentation of my fitness journey, and if I don’t actually have anything to document, it won’t be interesting, and then you have nothing to celebrate, right? It shouldn’t be tough, but I should plan more and the person I can blame for that is me. Perhaps tomorrow needs to be “Tough Love Tuesday”

Quit Complaining

I feel like that I bitch a lot,and while complaining about complaining is still complaining, I really need to stop it. Firsthand, I noticed that Johnny would complain about some commercial or something that I would say or just something when we are hanging out, and it is super annoying, but then I realized that I probably complain just as much as he does, and how do I have any right to bring it up, if I don’t control my complaining.

So, I have compiled a list of common complaints that I have and responses or solutions that I can use to counter them

1. “I’m bored.”
   This one is a pretty piss poor thing to say no matter who you are, and frankly I am way too old to be complaining about this. Usually it is during the weekend and it is that between time of having cleaned up my apartment, watched all my Hulu episodes and sometime before bedtime. This is a good 4pm to midnight (or later if I get crunk — 2004 called…) window. So, the solution, Read a motherfuckin book. Yep, there are a lot of things that don’t involve stuffing my face with fast food, or going downtown, or whatever not good idea that I have that will temporary alleviate my ennui but push me further away from my goals.
2. “I’m hungry.”
   Eat something, dummy. Okay this time, but without the inflammatory language. I usually have a pretty good gauge of hunger vs. stress/boredom eating, so I tend not to mindlessly snack, but I do get cravings for the sweet stuff around 8 or 9pm, so this is one that I have to be careful with. Everyone knows the difference between eating zingers and nachos and actually nurturing yourself with good food. I often will skip meals at work because I had forgotten my food at home, and/or too lazy to get something down the street, so really unless I plan on eating something, I really need to ditch this complaint and be more prepared when it comes to my meals.
3. “I don’t have any money”
   This one is valid. With my student loans, car, and credit card payments, I often am quite broke, however, with budgeting there is really no excuse I run out of funds. However, it is often the case, that I am shopping or eating out, and that is where the money sinkhole happens. This has been really challenging for me, because I let my emotions override my reason and I seem to lose the breaks on them, and eventually end up skidding into some bad decision. There seems to be a pattern I am noticing as I write this, and that is each of these things I complain about seem to cascade into each other. I get bored so I spend too much money then I don’t have any money, and then I am hungry (sometimes it is that bad). I am hungry, so let’s go spend some more money then I don’t have any money, so I can’t do anything and I am bored. All of my problems seem to somewhat be related, so maybe if I could just get control of my emotional immaturity I would gain control of my problems. It sounds easy, but you have to be willing to actually put the work into it.
4. “I’m too ______”
   This one is a little bit different in that it relates to some problems that I should just get over, eg: being flat-chested or being old. Yes, I have wrinkles, but should I be smoking and making them worse. NO! The flat-chested thing I should just get over as I have a boyfriend and any one who would just be with me for my tits is probably not worth being with in the first place. Can you say Douchebag? Sometimes the blank is “fat” or “flabby”, and well, that relates more to the first 3 problems. If I eat too much I weigh too much for my liking and if I keep my diet tight, I get skinnier, pretty easy right? At the risk of being repetitive, it is all about emotions. and if you can’t control your emotions, you can’t control your life which includes the discipline to workout every day, keeping a mindful yoga practice, and with keeping your food intake clean and not stuffing your face with sugary food. It is all connected, as I am realizing even just writing this.
5. “No one wants to hang out with me.”
   No, no one wants to hang out with someone who is constantly having problems and can’t get his or her shit together. This one really just sums up the crux of the issues and that is, all together now, emotional control. People use the term “Negative Nancy” and I feel like maybe I am that kind of person who complains all the time, thus no one wants to be around it. I have been around people who bitch a lot and it really gets tiring after a while. So, really just shut the fuck up already. Not to be unkind to myself, but I need a bit of tough love as they say. I need to get my shit together, or as my dad would say “get your big girl pants on” and just deal with my problems instead of complaining about them, and I think only then will things start to fall into place for me, and maybe you, too!

Okay, so yeah, that was quite a long winded entry, but I really got to the crux of my problems. It is all about control, and I need to get that back in my life if I want to gain any semblance of sanity.

It’s the freakin weekend

Haven’t posted in a few days just from a bit of the self-inflicted emotional turmoil I have put myself through just going through anxiety and stress from that. I prefer not to post when I am in such a craptastic mood, especially with the crying and whatnot. Oh, the crying. Regardless, I am fine, the world is fine, and even though the bottom of my torso feels like someone is wringing it out like a dirty towel (I could get grosser with that metaphor, but I won’t, you’re welcome) everything is going swimmingly and it’s Friday! Currently sipping on some Keurig cup coffee, we have various flavors, but I decided on the dark chocolate combined with the caramel vanilla cream. The caramel does have a bit of an aftertaste, but with the dark chocolate mixed with it, you can barely notice it.

Girl look at that body. Actually don’t because I am super bloated. Anyway, before melting down yesterday and Wednesday, I went to the gym for kickboxing and yoga on Tuesday, and it was pretty cool. The asanas were pretty good in the class, though I must say it was a lot more relaxed than I am used to. Imagine that, people go to yoga not to torture themselves psychologically and physically, what a concept!!! Okay, yeah, it was not hot, in fact it was pretty COLD, so that took getting used to, and not really sure about the ladies talking during the beginning, but I must remind myself to chill out and that not everyone is such an elitist about their practice.

So Tuesday night, I did go to kickboxing as mentioned and it was pretty fun as well. The choreography is always challenging, but it doesn’t feel like I am endlessly trudging on the treadmill/elliptical which is a nice break from what I usually do. My favorite thing about the kickboxing was that it was part of Chalene Johnsons’s Turbokick brand, which includes interval bursts that serve as a HIIT training so it is not just steady state the whole time, and people tell me that this is important.

Diet, diet, die-it. So, unfortunately, been really off the wagon in terms of sugar, grains, and basically any un-Whole30 approved items. For shame! Well, in my humble opinion, not really. The reason I say that is because I don’t feel terrible, and I cut back on the unhealthy behaviors (except for the past few days), and I do have healthy behaviors such as eating fruits, vegetables, and getting some sort of movement every single day. Thus, I will consider off-roading, as they say, a Win. Today’s Healthy Choice, was pretty good, though I do understand why the plastic tray was separated (I don’t heat the plastic, because who knows how really good for you that is). At any rate, the water from the frozen veg seeped a bit into the pasta mixture while cooking it in a bowl. A recommendation would be to use two smaller bowls to keep the items apart, and then you can drain the vegetable mixture and your final plating of it, would not have the watery pasta (lol edit, pasty, really, really?). It wasn’t horrible, but I can see how it would be undesirable.

310 calories, 45 carbohydrates, and 580 mg of sodium, but super tasty!

So, in trying to redeem myself for the past few days, I will try to make this weekend a healthy one, and I already can check the schedule for classes I may want to take, hooray! I think it will be a good one, it has to be a good one. Here is some music to get us started:

Vanity killed the hot yoga star

Yes, it is true. I am thinking of taking off my focus bracelets from sunstone for a more cooler version of the practice Today was a really good practice for Fire 90 at Sunstone, but my god I hadn’t been to a fire class in a while and boy was it unbearably hot. So, yeah it got me to thinking, is this actually great for my skin, which is finally starting to clear up once I am obsessive about washing it after the sweaty practice.  So here is the rub, I found this study that suggests that 6 weeks of 43 degrees Celsius (about 104 degrees Fahrenheit)  for only 30 minutes and 3 times a week. My classes are probably about 98, sometimes less, but also they are 60 to 90 minutes long, and some weeks I was going 4-5 times! So, yeah, I don’t want to be wrinkly as I take hot enough showers, and any more exposure might really cause some oxidative damage, oh look at you trying to sound smart.

I guess I can justify fitness and the exposure of heat in that capacity because it isn’t just sitting still and I feel like you are supposed to be active in your daily life, which brings me to my next point. I need a new yoga place. Yeah, I certainly don’t want to quit practice, because it does make me feel good, and I feel like if I were to do it with a DVD at home, I would some how find a way to phone it in or half-ass it, as they say. The group dynamic just works for me. Le sigh, Pure Austin
or as I like to call it “fancy gym” has the best selection of classes for the price as most of the studios here are like 99-120 per month, holy mackerel!!  Even at $64 for the fancy gym, it is a  bit more money then I want to pay, so 24 hour fitness might be the second best at $29-36 a month depending how many gyms you want to have access to, or if you want to pay a stupid enrollment fee, which I don’t. There is also donation based downtown, but this cities two main arteries of traffic are perpetually clogged, and who wants to deal with that, no thank you to stress that I do not need. Haven’t found anything in my location that is cheap except for the damn hell asanas, just kidding.

I may try the Gaiam stuff online, but really the motivation not the actual classes are the problem. The only way I think I would do it is if I was at the apartment’s gym or clubhouse and using my iPad, just so that I am away from the distractions of my apartment. Well, enough pointless rambling and bitching. .

Beware the ides of Squatober.

Okay so I am not really doing that as well as I should, but I love the idea of starting over as it were on the 15th of a month. Maybe it is because I get paid bi-monthly, and without having to pay rent, it kinda makes me feel like it is bonus money which gives me a sense of freedom (well not really because I got them student loans) But anyway, the 15th represents a chance of renewal, that you can salvage the rest of the 31 days and start fresh even on a new month.

Sunday, I came up with kind of a spicy special sauce for my paleo(ish) remixed sandwich. It is low-carb, but the mayo is store bought, which is not primal compliant, BFD. I am so over it, but really I am just mad because the one time I tried making the mayo with egg whites and olive oil, it was a big-time failure. I haven’t tried since then, but I should.  At any rate, the sauce I made used generic mayo, Frank’s red hot wing sauce, and minced garlic, and it had just the right amount of creaminess, spiciness, and healthy benefit with the garlic. Not so sure it was the best thing calorie-wise, but the lettuce and chicken really needed some sort of sauce to make it actually be appealing.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. No yoga, and it is looking more and more like no orange bracelet by the end of this month, which sucks, but it is what it is. I may skip breakfast tomorrow, but I freaking love those nopalitos. Excuse Monday was  that my boyfriend needed the car because his has been having a lot of difficulties lately and I didn’t want to come back to pick him up. Yesterday’s excuse was that the night before I woke up around 3:00 AM and could not get back to sleep until like 4:30-5am. BTW, did you know that Jerry Springer has a dating show now? Maybe the world really is ending in 2012. This morning, what was my excuse, well I simply didn’t have one. I feel like I am going to sabotage myself with the work breakfast tomorrow, even though it is optional for me, but hopefully I will be strong.

My skin situation has really been ticking me off. I am not sure if it is acne, or if I am allergic to something, but I have been getting these bumps on my forehead and has seem to coincide with my hot yoga, so I am wondering if it is just not washing my face thoroughly enough after yoga, but I did buy these special face cleansers, so I am not sure. I was looking into Proactiv, but if you look at the reviews on Amazon, all of them mention the sheisty Auto-Pay system that Guthy Renker uses to send them. They have kiosks at the mall for it, so that might be something that would better serve me just paying the extra money not to have my debit card information held hostage. How about you audience, have you had any experience (good or bad) with Proactiv for breakouts?

Of course, the stress from money problems could be the cause of the breakouts, and really I don’t know what to do about that. I am actually taking some strides in making better choices financially.  Instead of my normal salon, I am going to Avenue Five, which is a beauty school, and it is significantly cheaper then the one I had been going to, like $45 instead of $125. I figure the worst that could happen is they fry my hair and I have to get a wig, KIDDING, but seriously all the yelp reviews were good, so yeah. Okay, yes, be judgmental and say that I could just avoid going to the salon and have my natural hair, pish posh, what madness is that?
Besides, now that I started my DIY tanning and do not have a gym membership, I figure I can allot that money towards my hair. The last time I tried to DIY bleaching my roots, it was a disaster, so I have learned to not do that!

Well, not much else to say, so hope you are having a Wonderful Wednesday. Stay sweaty, my friend!

Beauty confessions

I don’t think I will be as skinny as Cat Marnell ever in time for Halloween, but I do like being tan. It really just is a good look for everyone, even a former goth such as myself. Hate to sound like a cliché, almost as much as I hate announcing that I am one, (okay Jenna Fischer from “The Office”), but that demand for attention with dressing in outlandish outfits plus wearing ridiculous makeup, well mostly, goes away with age. To really pull off “edgy” ugh how gross is that word?, you really have to be Betsey Johnson or some other amazing artist, zomg Daphne Guiness you are my shero. Not sure how I got off on that tangent, but yeah I have been researching self-tanning products, and I came across this video:

I use the lotions currently, and have to agree that they are not very good. They are a little bit delayed in the action of the color, so if you are not sure where you applied you will see it quite obviously the next day. So, I have a few beauty confessions to make that I hope you will not judge me for, and they aren’t really that bad.  The first one probably many women share, but maybe not. I abhor shaving my legs, it just seems so unnecessary especially if you aren’t wearing shorts, so I rarely do it, like I think I have gone almost a year without shaving them, seriously. The last long stretch of non-shaving I have gone was probably a month or two, and the only reason I shaved them yesterday was because I was bored on my day off and I didn’t want my tan to be uneven, even though it was regardless, boo.

The second beauty confession has to do with tanning and shaving as well. In the same vein of keeping my tan even on my gams, I feel like it should be even on my arms as well, so occasionally I will shave my arms so that the color will appear less muddled by my dark body hair, yes that blonde as you can tell by my eyebrows ain’t natural. Speaking of eyebrows, this is my third beauty confession. Oddly it also has to do with shaving. I noticed that guys will do this, and yes, why the fuck am I taking my grooming habits from dudes. Intrigued, yet? Anyway, plucking your eyebrows really is a bitch, and if you are just trying to get rid of the hair in the middle, I find it less time consuming and easier just to shave the middle to avoid looking like Frida Kahlo, hey if that is your thing though, go for it. So, yeah those are my embarrassing beauty rituals, how about y’all. Spill the beans!! What is something that you do for beauty or grooming that you would be embarrassed to admit?

So, in lieu of the gym, because I have decided that I can’t stand it at least for now. I go through those phases, it happens. I have been trying to make a habit, oh those tricky habits, to dance. Even came up with a fun playlist on Grooveshark to help me with the motivation, it is fun for the whole apartment complex!!

Yeah, anyway, perfect mix of aggressive beats and melodies. I am a superstar DJ but only in my mind, lulz.So, if you want to hear a real mix, listen to this one, been following this person for about 3 years, and finally saw him at SXSW in 2010:

So yeah, I will be dancing it up shortly, squatober is still kinda going on, I try to squat every day (screw you, under armor, are you going to steal that from my blog too, I CAME UP WITH MY SLOGAN FIRST) Okay, yes, weekend workout! It is fun to do, no jinksies, remember that TED talk, but I have been reading “Unlimited” by Jillian Michaels, don’t judge me either, it was from the library!! and it has been giving me ideas on how to better improve myself. I got pretty depressed last night, just thinking about how successful my friends from college are, and how really unsuccessful I am despite having like 3 degrees (not even exaggerating, I also have two minors, one in German and in Instructional Design). All that college has gotten me is 40k in debt, I don’t even make that in a YEAR, and some books that I am hoarding. Okay, so I have a pretty sweet portfolio, but it almost seems like I can’t move forward until I make some headway into my professional life and it almost seems like I am sabotaging myself. At any rate, I hope I figure out how to not be freaking broke all the time by age 35, here is to hoping!!