Quit Complaining

I feel like that I bitch a lot,and while complaining about complaining is still complaining, I really need to stop it. Firsthand, I noticed that Johnny would complain about some commercial or something that I would say or just something when we are hanging out, and it is super annoying, but then I realized that I probably complain just as much as he does, and how do I have any right to bring it up, if I don’t control my complaining.

So, I have compiled a list of common complaints that I have and responses or solutions that I can use to counter them

    1. “I’m bored.”
      This one is a pretty piss poor thing to say no matter who you are, and frankly I am way too old to be complaining about this. Usually it is during the weekend and it is that between time of having cleaned up my apartment, watched all my Hulu episodes and sometime before bedtime. This is a good 4pm to midnight (or later if I get crunk — 2004 called…) window. So, the solution, Read a motherfuckin book. Yep, there are a lot of things that don’t involve stuffing my face with fast food, or going downtown, or whatever not good idea that I have that will temporary alleviate my ennui but push me further away from my goals.
    2. “I’m hungry.”
      Eat something, dummy. Okay this time, but without the inflammatory language. I usually have a pretty good gauge of hunger vs. stress/boredom eating, so I tend not to mindlessly snack, but I do get cravings for the sweet stuff around 8 or 9pm, so this is one that I have to be careful with. Everyone knows the difference between eating zingers and nachos and actually nurturing yourself with good food. I often will skip meals at work because I had forgotten my food at home, and/or too lazy to get something down the street, so really unless I plan on eating something, I really need to ditch this complaint and be more prepared when it comes to my meals.
    3. “I don’t have any money”
      This one is valid. With my student loans, car, and credit card payments, I often am quite broke, however, with budgeting there is really no excuse I run out of funds. However, it is often the case, that I am shopping or eating out, and that is where the money sinkhole happens. This has been really challenging for me, because I let my emotions override my reason and I seem to lose the breaks on them, and eventually end up skidding into some bad decision. There seems to be a pattern I am noticing as I write this, and that is each of these things I complain about seem to cascade into each other. I get bored so I spend too much money then I don’t have any money, and then I am hungry (sometimes it is that bad). I am hungry, so let’s go spend some more money then I don’t have any money, so I can’t do anything and I am bored. All of my problems seem to somewhat be related, so maybe if I could just get control of my emotional immaturity I would gain control of my problems. It sounds easy, but you have to be willing to actually put the work into it.
    4. “I’m too ______”
      This one is a little bit different in that it relates to some problems that I should just get over, eg: being flat-chested or being old. Yes, I have wrinkles, but should I be smoking and making them worse. NO! The flat-chested thing I should just get over as I have a boyfriend and any one who would just be with me for my tits is probably not worth being with in the first place. Can you say Douchebag? Sometimes the blank is “fat” or “flabby”, and well, that relates more to the first 3 problems. If I eat too much I weigh too much for my liking and if I keep my diet tight, I get skinnier, pretty easy right? At the risk of being repetitive, it is all about emotions. and if you can’t control your emotions, you can’t control your life which includes the discipline to workout every day, keeping a mindful yoga practice, and with keeping your food intake clean and not stuffing your face with sugary food. It is all connected, as I am realizing even just writing this.
    5. “No one wants to hang out with me.”
      No, no one wants to hang out with someone who is constantly having problems and can’t get his or her shit together. This one really just sums up the crux of the issues and that is, all together now, emotional control. People use the term “Negative Nancy” and I feel like maybe I am that kind of person who complains all the time, thus no one wants to be around it. I have been around people who bitch a lot and it really gets tiring after a while. So, really just shut the fuck up already. Not to be unkind to myself, but I need a bit of tough love as they say. I need to get my shit together, or as my dad would say “get your big girl pants on” and just deal with my problems instead of complaining about them, and I think only then will things start to fall into place for me, and maybe you, too!

    Okay, so yeah, that was quite a long winded entry, but I really got to the crux of my problems. It is all about control, and I need to get that back in my life if I want to gain any semblance of sanity.

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Tell me something good!

So, I went a little bit crazy this weekend and had a shopping spree, but it was mostly boring stuff like oil changes, but I did happen to register for a new fitness establishment for less hot yoga, and if today was any indication of the temperature, it was dare, I say COLD. The style was a lot more relaxed than I am used to as well. I’m pretty militant about my yoga, even though it is stretching, I do like to incorporate more strength. Putting planning into practice, back in my love phase of the constant love/hate of fitness. Love that sore feeling the next day. Hate that I am so bloated right now, that I can’t enjoy losses on the scale.

So financial fitness, we all know I am out of shape, hah! Totally frivolous purchase #1,  this:

I am a bit nervous to use it considering that the main ingredient may cause skin cancer, but I smoke occasionally so yeah, seem silly to be worrying about that!  At least I am putting planning into my workout routine. It is well known, to plan the night before, but I cannot overemphasize the quote “Failure to plan is planning to fail”. The past few nights I have put my stuff out:

While I didn’t go to yoga yesterday morning, I did practice with  All Fitness TV‘s version of it on the Roku. It was only 20 minutes but was an awesome introduction to an otherwise crappy Monday. Anyway, even with planning, you still can fall short of your goals, my intention on Monday morning was to actually go to yoga, but I was a bit betrayed by my beloved “slow motion potion”. Yes, I guzzle the relaxation beverages almost as much as I chug the energy drinks, get leeeeeaned:

It was relaxing, until it wasn’t. 1am rolled around, so instead of sleeping, I ended up watching episodes of American Dad until about 3:30 am, fun times. Last night, I also woke up at 4:00 am, the “Rasta Pink” was my potion of choice, instead, woke up to the horrible dating show called Excused. I am all about silly game shows and trashy reality TV, but o.m.g. this show is basically unwatchable. The comedianne who hosts it is so rude and bitchy to all of the contestants. I guess I would be too, considering what kind of idiots she has to deal with, but it is pretty bad, and if I am saying that, heh!

Speaking of not being bitchy, I have completely abandoned the paleo/primal paradigm in favor of the Healthy Choice microwave meals. Well, at least I am picking them conscientiously this time, typically I will not chose any meal over 40g of carbohydrates. The sodium in these things is a bit ridiculous, but at least they are low calorie, right? Anyway, I am not thrilled about the ConAgra brand, and if you have read The Omnivore’s Dilemna, you know what I am talking about. To try to make them a bit healthy, I have been cooking them separate from the plastic, because no one really knows the toxicity of heating plastic. Just trying to do things in general to be healthier, says the girl who just ate a burrito from 7eleven today. Yeah, whatev, it was like $1.69 and I am fah-reakin BROKE. I feel a bit like a materialistic ouroboros that spends all my money on skincare and fitness, leaving me poor to have to buy shitty nutrition that causes me to need buy the repairing exercise and skincare, and so on and so forth. But, anyway, I plan on making something a bit more wholesome to dine on tonight.

Spoiled Rotten

Look Austin, TX is repping some fitspo!

It’s true. I am a bit spoiled,  but hey look it is the capital and look that chick ain’t me doing that. I slept for probably 16 hours yesterday. Awesome job. I had written a bunch of stuff regarding living in a cooler zip code, but it was as if Firefox new better than me to not save the draft and when I had the brilliant idea of trying to put a paypal donate widget. By the way, WordPress is lame like that and won’t let you add forms or other HTML that isn’t just straight up text or images. WordPress dot org might be a bit better, but I am broke again after paying my bills (at least I pay them) which leads me to my new page, it kinda freaks me out that I am using my personal email, but whatevs, you have my email now, stalkers welcome. Every time I log into my accounts for the Student loans I feel like watching this video – 1:05 cracks me up — student loans are a biiitch! :

This morning at 6, the Insanity from Beachbody infomercial came on and it reminded me that I had actually obtained them. I would like to do them, but my dvd player is limited to the office and there is not much space, plus I feel kinda bad jumping around in the morning because I have downstairs neighbors and it probably sounds like a heard of buffalo stampeding. It is certainly an effective workout, if your goal is to be drenched in sweat afterwards, but I am wondering if it is HIIT in the sense that you don’t really take a lot of breaks while doing it. You basically have a  series of calisthenics/plyometrics that go from medium, fast to fastest.. found a breakdown here and it shows you how many rests you get… and it ain’t many, and HIIT according to the wikipedia article is intended to have about a 2:1 ratio of work to recovery. Just doing the workout for a few days, I have to also wonder how hard these are on your knees. High impact cardio is great for you aerobically, I am sure, but I have to wonder if your body is meant to take more than about 10 minutes of heavy impact for day. It is a very confusing task to try to discern what is good and what is bad in terms of exercise. I walk each hour at work, and that really hasn’t steered me wrong. Anyway, I may try to do some working out this evening.

Need to take some sexy food pictures, too! How about some metal for this Monday \m/:

Just for good measure, probably one of my favorite albums of all time, the mid to late 1990’s was pretty awesome for underground music even if the mainstream was shit:

Doin Thangs

Actually, not really. Not enough sleep in the past 3 days, insomnia and this morning I had to get up at like 6am to take my boyfriend to the airport. Yeehaw, but the rest of this month I have vowed to myself to at the very least to get my finances in at least somewhat order. It is pretty bleak, however,  when I actually pay all my bills. Such is life, I am not really in a good place to move, so finding employment elsewhere would be a challenge that I don’t know I can handle right now. The best I can hope for is that  revenue will pick up in our company and that will translate to a higher salary for me, but at worst if it doesn’t and I don’t get a raise, in April, it will mark my 5 years with this company, so that would give me a lot of leverage if I chose to take my talent elsewhere and perhaps to a more managerial position. Anyway, having everything clearly indicated is truly a stress reliever, even it means that I have to hide my debit card from myself and live on an “allowance” of cash for the next 2 weeks.

Just trying to remain positive, even if things are difficult right now.  This weekend will be lonely, but not necessarily in a bad way. Having a long-term relationship sometimes means that you become attached at the hip so to speak with your significant other. Plus the apartment is a mess,  and I kinda like jamming out the tunes and practicing some dance moves while I do my hausfrau duties. Speaking of which, I need to finalize my to-do list for the morning, so that in the afternoon I can relax and enjoy the day. Tomorrow morning, I get my platinum hair done, hey budget or not, I will NOT go around with 3 inch roots! I may or may not go to the park for some psy-trance (depending how nasty the weather is), and tomorrow evening I have a dinner party to go to, so that will be fun. Now, I know what you are thinking, what about the whole 30? Welll.. Sunday I have a six hour, yuck, defensive driving course I need to take and there will be pizza. I know myself well enough that if there is a yummy food around something that I am not wanting to be at such as a 6 hour course, I am going to indulge. That’s just the way it is. So, the best I will be able to do is on the 17th, hell I may not even do another one, great way to set up a success. Pardon me, I am pretty amped up on Zero Cal Monster, so the tangential rambling may be a bit intense today.

Not to mention, the breaks I am forced to take because of work, fucking day job, why can’t I just be a badass bloggerina to support myself (and I talk about not having enough money now). So yeah, check out the two new pages I have added:  31 things while 31 and Lauren’s Library books are added as I read or am reading them, so that should help with Goal #1, if you are paying attention! Well, super busy, wish I could muse further on my complete failings at life, but there is too much shit to do, so until I have more more time, TTFN!

Loving this rain:

Here are some songs about rain: