Whole 30 – Day 26

Doing my laundry, brewing some chai, and just having a general bout of malaise, I am trying to get motivated to do some treadmill walking in defiance of the Texas heat. The sloth is winning, and I am feeling a bit discouraged because I let the temptation of processed meats (80% sure that the ham, salami, and pepperoni, which I all sampled was cured with something considered impure in the church of Paleo). Well, screw it though, in the face of brownies, cookies, and I don’t know how many overtly dairy and gluten products, I think I did okay. I would have graded myself with a C last night, I didn’t just flunk outright by sampling the sweets, booze, or any of the carbalicious gluten treats, chips, crackers, etc. I think D would have been dairy and some of the legume delights such as hummus, oh how I miss this snack! .So, I was left with meats, veggies, and fruits. My resolve started strong, A- most of my plate was filled with vegetables and a bit of fruits to give me some artificial energy, sue me.. it is the weekend.

As the night progressed, I started eating more fruits just because it felt like I knew hardly anyone at the party and the people I did know were mostly talking amongst themselves about none other than getting wasted, just really uncomfortable for me. This may have been something that was in my head, but it seemed like the people that were drinking harder drinks were a bit too proudly displaying them in their hands. Or it could just be something that you have to do when holding that kind of beverage. Either way, the bf and I hung out mostly outside and for me I was a bit asocial. It really disturbs me, because I had this perception of myself that I was this social butterfly and that is quickly shattered by one sober night. I should have just broken down on my diet and eating a goddamned cookie, but I had to be miss bitchypants clean eater. It wasn’t really that bad, but I missed out on some yummy food, and that makes me a bit bitter.

Oh and subconsciously since I knew I was going to maybe eat a lot (not sure if you count substituting smoothies for meals, though) I decided not to track my food. That was the first time in like 35 days I hadn’t logged anything. In a way it felt liberating to not have to be accountable to MFP, but in another it was terrifying because I was not sure how bad I was messing up on my eating plan. Part of the reason I think I ate so much is because I did manage to do about 80 minutes of cardio plus an hour of yoga and guess what, I got my pink bracelet! So at least there were a lot of steps I took even in the beginning of the day – though my lazy Sunday is starting to cancel out the goodness! – and yesterday I had my to-do list set. Consistency is key, just at least set the intention. I have been successful 90% of the time, when I set an honest intention to do something. Not so much in class, when I set the intention to not fall out of poses that I had intended to not fall out of, but for the most part yes, I do meet my goals when I know that I can do them, just have to really be honest with myself.

Well, because it is such a lazy day, here is some inspiration. GET MOVING:


Whole 30, Day 23

Stress, stress, stress, stress, stressity STRESS!! Was too busy at work to update yesterday, strangely enough I had one  my highest traffic days stats wise on the blawg. This morning I missed yoga, because I was fighting with my boyfriend. That’s always fun. So, what is the stress about, well, my dear readers, it is about money. I just don’t have enough of it. Admittedly, some of this is self-inflicted from purchasing a car in 2011 and having to finally pay back my student loans. There are other factors which make it difficult to get by, but I am not one to talk shit. I got a raise, and I am incredibly grateful for it, but it really wasn’t enough. I have to remind myself, however, that everyone is suffering, and to be brutal honest, even with my qualifications and skill, I am fortunate to have a job. Don’t let that detract from my awesomeness, though, because as you have read, the awesomeness of the Lauren is a force to be reckoned with, even if I feel mostly like this:

Okay.. now that this out of the way, we can just move forward. I know that I am still deviating from Whole30 (not enough to not count it, but enough to note it) by my consumption of fruit and coconut water. My boss had some Larabars, and I could have asked for one, but decided to use my own energy, okay mostly from coffee, to power through the day. So, my resolve is getting slightly better in eating sugars, but I know there will be at least one time it is truly tested.  My stepsister is having a dinner party this weekend, and it is so close to the end, I wish she could have scheduled it for September 1st, so I could have a least one martini, but life does not work that way, and sometimes you just have to put your big girl pants on and suck it up. The good news is that with the exception of this morning’s missed yoga, I have been able to keep up with my fitness. Yesterday, I almost made 10k steps with the help of some interval training. In Jackie Warner’s book, she said to just do jogging, sprinting and cool down rounds. Well, I varied it up a little bit and did: buttkickers, high knees, jogging in place, jumping jacks, and repeated butt kickers and jumping jacks for a total of  5 rounds.

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Whole 30, Day 17

Metal class really kicked my butt today. The consistent vinyasa flow of warrior one poses followed by chataranga pushups really gave me a workout. Anyone who says yoga is not challenging is obviously not doing it right. Made a rookie mistake of not eating except yerbe mate and coconut cream (I really wanted to like this drink but it is totally yucky to me), but at least I showed up! It really is giving me so much bliss, the process of it all. I don’t think I will ever really not want a cocktail every now and then, but the cravings for sweets and nasty food are really starting to go away (until tonight).  Yesterday evening, I was feeling rather depleted and was becoming light headed and starry-eyed upon standing even after eating chicken, so I went and got a Jamba Juice. Okay, so we have established that I like breaking rules, and yes even juicing because of its sugar response is not allowed, but if you are seeing stars upon standing, I would hope that this could be an exception. I simply had a case of the “IDGAF”‘s, and if you don’t know what that acronym is consort with the urban dictionary.  Also, I weight myself again, D’OH!!! Quickly seeing how obsessive I was getting promptly returned the scale to the closet, and even though I was desperately wanting to see how low my “morning weight” was, I resisted the temptation, but if I had to make a guess it is somewhere around 117-118, holla!

Deviations aside, I am doing okay. Today was less than perfect, whoopsies again.  As I was happily chopping a forgotten pepper, I thought I had a canned tuna for lunch. My father would say that I thought like Nit, and you know he thought it was candy, but it was shit*.  I swear I giggle for far too long for someone my age when I think about that expression. So, lucky for me my coworker brought breakfast tacos that I told myself I was not going to eat and before you think I completely crumbled in the face of temptation, I will let you know that I without shame completely disemboweled this cherished breakfast item and simply used the bacon and eggs for my pepper and almond lunch feast. Yeah, it is a strong possibility that the eggs were cooked in un-clarified butter and also the strip of bacon was cured with sugar, but for fuck’s sake, I really just needed something to eat, and seriously, how much inflammation can that little bit of sugar and dairy cause. I have already decided that while I definitely feel better sans processed carbs/grains, I will probably introduce dairy back into my diet. A part of me thinks that I am probably one of those people that should do a Whole60, but really getting sick of stressing out about food. The whole point is to have a HEALTHY relationship with food, and if not having a can of tuna is causing me this much anxiety, it ain’t healthy!

Another self-imposed stressor is the damn FitBit. I swear to god I love it, but hate it at the same time. It is so freaking small! It is constantly being lost. The other night I had put it on my seat belt, while we were driving around for errands, and the BF and I traced our steps to two different places before I finally after looking twice in just the vehicle where it was. Sadly all of the steps and floors traversed were not counted. BOOOO! Oh well, it could be viewed as a waste of time, or an adventure!!  So yeah, even just remembering to put the stupid thing on is a challenge, but I have managed to do most of the days tracking my steps.

In general news, Austin needs a raindance from anyone who will give it, we need to make this a reality:

Sadly since I screencapped that, the Monday stormcloud turned into a dark cloud, laaaame. Well, even if we just get rain this weekend, I will gladly sacrifice laying by the pool so that we don’t get forest fires in this area again!

Day Twenty-Three

If this don’t make your booty move, your booty must be dead. Okay, so the thing about motivation is that you are only going to do what you want to do, and I am finally finally learning this. I don’t think that I am a lazy person, in fact, I have this to prove that I am not:

That was my report yesterday that tracked my 90 minutes, yes 90!!, of dancing that I did to some kickass tunes. Not sure how dancing is factored into the device. Just from observing the step monitor, it would register multiple steps if I was bouncing up and down. Oh, it is aerobic alright, very fun and very bouncy. One thing I would like to improve is the sedentary time that is being recorded. If you look at this chart:

I still have nearly 12 hours of sedentary. I am no expert, but I think someone who is really dedicating their life to fitness should have a maximum of 10 hours of being sedentary, just for health purposes, but at least the numbers (not sure how accurate considering the weight might be a little off) reflect that yesterday I burned 2200 calories, cue the naysaying, “exercise won’t make you thinner” refrains. Yeah, I would probably be skeptical, except for this fact from MyFitnessPal:

This indicates (today is negative because I haven’t tracked yet) that I am actually at a deficit when I factor in the movement I am doing, so fuck yeah! But, back to this whole motivation thing. Reading this article kind of inspired me to get off my tush, because really you are the only person keeping you from not moving around, unless you have already been pushing yourself to the limit (I hadn’t), there is no excuse not to at least do SOMETHING! The best slogan in the world: Just Do It.

Music motivates me a lot, too. Kickboxing and spin classes are great but the music that gets played is just plain awful in my opinion. The neighbors and I got to enjoy my own version of this dance party where I flailed my arms, kicked my feet, and hopped in a manner that would more closely represent Julia Louis Dreyfuss in the late 1990’s rather than a sexy go-go dancer which at one time I could claim to be, could I? Regardless of how ridiculous I looked, it was so much fun to get all fist-pumping to the build up and breakdowns of the beats. Maybe, I am just a sucker for sequencing, overly pronounced kick drums, and vocoded lyrics, but these tunes really get my ass a shaking:

Also this one a bit NSFW, but so stompy:

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Day Eleven

Today is technically an active recovery day, but I feel a bit unfaithful to my FitBit for leaving it at home yesterday and not tracking. So, just to explain my awesome mood yesterday, and I can’t help but feel materialistic for being so damn happy about this, but it was xmas in July on Thursday night. My boyfriend decided to spoil me and get me an iPad for my birthday! Seriously, that is the nicest present any boyfriend has ever gotten me, so I am incredibly grateful for it. Today was a Fire 60 day, and possibly nothing else but cleaning as I am super exhausted. (just make some damn coffee already) Slowly unwinding and  pulling the thoughts out of my brain and to the screen. The creative process is quite fun even if you are forcing yourself to do it.

Also,  this week, I received It Starts With Food and so far it has been a good read. Just past the “science-y” chapters and it looks like the authors have really researched the topics. What I like best about the information is that even if you didn’t feel like reading all the stuff about leaky gut syndrome or the structure of a grain, you can just peruse the chapters and the read the bullet points in the back. I am not really sure that I understand a lot of it, but the stuff about sugar makes sense, as much I do not want to give up my precious artificial sweeteners, even stevia! I guess the rational is that you don’t eat stevia in natural without it having to be processed to hell and back. I will have to adjust to this lack of sweet taste, as I put that in my coffee with half-and-half every morning. No more to either of those on the Whole30 program.

I know, I know I said, no gimmicky diets, but from all the stuff I have read it really it is intended to be more of a lifestyle change. Honestly, I have no problems giving up lentils and rice, as cheap as they may be, they require so much salt to taste good, it isn’t worth having as a food choice, in my opinion. I know I will miss my cheese and yogurt, but I am giving myself a few days to enjoy them. So far, in this book I am at the point where the authors are dispelling current assumptions regarding cholesterol and animal protein, which basically is a slap in the face to the documentary Forks Over Knives, but I have not committed myself to any lifestyle change yet, just seeing what makes me feel better.

Though I can’t really count it (most of it was water weight) the scale read 119.8, today. Just 9 more pounds until hot 18 year old weight, too bad I am not a hot 18 year old. Oh, stop it. Okay, so it is hard when you have been pretty negative for 15 or so years to quit saying silly things like that. Looking stronger, always sweaty.


Day Eight

Fueled by caffeine and Emergen-C.

Bikram yoga was amazing as usual. I really feel a connection with my body and some pleasant side-effects have emerged. My body image has improved. Yesterday in class I was kinda feeling a bit insecure compared to some of the other skinnier chicks to the side of me. This has been a common problem of mine, even with the weight loss, I have been Goldilocks-ing myself into some serious insecurity. I can’t just believe that my body as it shrinks (namely my booty and boobies) is “just right” by my, ahem society’s, standards. That really sucks, too. Becoming more focused with my body and how it performs in certain asanas such as reverse table top, and bridge poses really sweat away any doubt I had brought about by my fake inadequacies.

Less impressed with the Wood 60 class than I am with the Fire. The Wood class was more Pilates based, which I suppose is good, but the temperature was not as hot and the focus was on the smaller muscle groups, where I am more about the explosive movements in Fire. I am looking toward doing the other classes, just have to balance my schedule of other classes with work. Neither the Wood nor the Fire classes had what I would consider inversion poses, which I have read are super awesome. William Broad would disagree, but with anything, don’t be an idiot. You can be injured driving a car, if you are careless, should you swear off driving, probably not. My yoga experience today was unfortunately punctuated by a talking-to by my instructor. After not being able to shower yesterday after class (both people were occupying the two showers), in the final corpse pose, I left early to dibs on the shower.  Well, I suppose that is bad yoga etiquette, and I should have just stayed. Ironically enough, no one needed the shower today in the morning class. So, I guess I will either have to find a way to not shower (ew), or avoid the lunch time classes from now on.

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Day Seven

Wow, it has been a week! Fantastic. The scale hasn’t really budged downward, but it hasn’t gone upward either, but becoming stronger and smaller even if the numbers on the scale don’t reflect that. Using the FitBit has already been really fun. 10,000 steps seems totally doable with the hourly walks I have already been doing at work. Becoming concerned that I am not doing enough strength training to complement the cardio and yoga. That has always been a weak spot for me. Cardio is just more fun, in my opinion. Even if it is spending an hour on the treadmill, I have my tunes to keep me company as the miles and minutes pass. Weight lifting just seems more of a chore, counting reps and lifting things. I really wish my attitude could change about this, but lifting weights will always be boring to me, I am afraid.

Body weight exercises seem to be the compromise for me. Not sure if you can consider burpees more cardio or strength, but as sick as it sounds, I actually enjoy those just because they are so awful and tiring.  Push-ups, squats, and lunges  are without a doubt some great resistance drills, too. For a while my focus was on chin-ups and pull-ups at home, just need to carve out that extra time to do it.  Again, there is that needing to versus wanting to, how do you become intrinsically motivated to do something that you really just don’t like that much?

So, been meaning to right about something that I really find helpful in any journey, fitness or not. For us ENTP‘s this is not always something we do. I love this resource.  It really comes down to just doing the things that need to be done to live a less chaotic existence. Procrastination is the enemy of organization, but also, when you have everything purged and cleared, it becomes a lot less overwhelming and easier to get down to business. Sometimes a focus is just necessary. Pardon my nerdiness, but there is a good reason why your English teachers expected you to write an outline in your papers. Have a point-by-point objective in writing, and in life with a to-do list,  just really helps you get things accomplished. For me, the applications on smartphones are great, but really the old pen and paper works best for me. It may just be a tactile concreteness that motivates me, but it is more effective, and despite the technology, more convenient.

Will have some more insights tomorrow, I hope. Stay sweaty!