Leftovers

The good thing about recording almost everything is that you will always have content, may not be the best, but hey, there are only so many ways to pontificate on how bad you want zebra cakes. Making progress on my goals, and trying to get back into the 120-125. 5 pounds increments really seem like appropriate milestones, if that hasn’t already been mentioned.

Friday’s meal was not a reflection of my effort, however. The company I work for hosted a party at Dave and Buster’s which included a $20 game card. Side-note, reminding myself that I should never ever gamble seriously. I can see how people become addicted, my “vice” was the tickets, but at the cost of not having a lot of game time. I did end up getting over 600 tickets, but the hello kitty prize I wanted was like 2400. That is an expensive stuffed animal, sheesh!  Ended up drinking a few brightly colored cocktails, but my meal was pretty good, steak and lobster Alfredo pasta, couldn’t find it on the menu of the website, but the sauce had shrimp and sun-dried tomatoes on it, too. Again, not a food snob, so it appealed to my not eaten anything substantial all day delicacies:

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It is amazing I lose any weight with how terribly I eat some days, but there have been a number of tummy grumblings and fatigues to certainly make it up with nearly fasting. Normally, on Sunday night to recalibrate my sleeping, I will feast on a “Drank”, but it appeared that they were out at the store, so instead I chose one of the Neuro drinks called Trim. It is probably not anything that is scientifically backed, but it does contain Resveratrol. I am not going to stock up on a 36 count anytime soon, though, they taste awful!

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In more self-esteem destroying news, I watched the dancer audition video for Ultra Music Festival. For those of you who don’t know, it is the Nutcracker of the EDM event performances, and if I wasn’t convinced already to become a skinny minnie, well just see for yourself:

The thing about getting down to that weight is that I am not even sure that I would be able to maintain it for more than like a week. It feels “right” to be around 120-125 pounds, but my ego and desire want to be around 110 or less! I have never had such a cognitive dissonance about something (oh you fancy, huh?) I feel like if I am gonna go semi-starving to reach my goals, because let’s be real, that is what a diet is, amirite?, I may as well go whole-hog into the world of body modification through rib-removal and corsetry (Have you seen my Pinterest?). Just kidding, I would totally get a boob job before doing that, and those things don’t come cheap! Silliness aside, if I get down to my UGW, ugh I am one of them now, I will try to maintain it without driving myself totally mad. If not, well maybe it is time to chose another hobby.

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On the road to the second Whole30

Lack of inspiration, not so much that I have nothing to say, just more that I feel like a hypocrite. Oh sure, I will start out with healthy intentions and eat stuff like this, very delightful dish of “breaded” chicken (almond meal and coconut flour) with sauteed broccoli and sweet potatoes:

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However, those intentions will quickly dissolve and I will be eating stuff like this:

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This was the Philly Cheese Steak served with garlic and parmasean tater tots. The tots themselves were nothing to write home about but the fact that they added garlic and cheese to them really made it a nice touch. I wouldn’t say it was the best cheesesteak I have had in Austin, my personal favorite is Texadelphia, but whatever, cheesteak is like pizza. You really cannot screw up the unholy trinity of fats, carbs and meat.  So obviously, my reintroduction phase hasn’t exactly been gradual, more like ramming whatever tastey goodness I can find down my gullet. Jeeze Louise, I am getting hungry just thinking about the feasting last night. Amazingly, I have stayed under 120 pounds, despite my efforts to sabotage myself, oh please I act like I did not bike on the stationery 15 miles yesterday morning. Bla bla bla, you can’t out-exercise a shit diet, but considering I only have one or two really crappy meals, I’m doing okay.

Just okay. I am trying internally to fixate my intentions into actions. Not comfortable with discussing them, because I think that is a sabotage. Oh and there is this, but in terms of blogging, does that count as saying them. There is also the saying, “Ink it, don’t think it” that I have heard in terms of goal setting and achievement. I do see a lot of people that I am following declare their intentions, but for me it seems a bit like saying them, so I get scared. Ugh, deja vu, like woah. Yes, it feels like I have talked about this before, so maybe I will shut up and try to focus more on what I can add to this thing that will make people actually want to read it. Seriously, my stats have been horrible lately! I know this endeavor is mainly just for me, because writing is fun and it is something I don’t get paid for, but if this were a job, not sure if I would still have it based on the website traffic. Let’s be honest, how many people actually keep a private blog, I would assume very little. The whole point of this is to create and captivate an audience, right? Or is this just my own narcissism and histrionics? Perhaps, my content isn’t that interesting to anyone but me, and that is sorta okay, too, but I would like to think if I am putting effort into something, that other people would want to pay attention.

It is hard to say for sure how to become successful at something without trying to piggyback from celebrity or resort to sex appeal. Oh, it is certainly tempting, but I am not sure my cellulite dimpled ass is something anyone wants to see. Speaking of cellulite. It really sucks, and it terrible looking. I have read more articles than I care to admit about the subject, but tried very little mainly because of the wikipiedia article that states that this phenomenon is something that has never really been “cured”. What say you audience? Have you ever been able to improve your cellulite? What was the most successful treatment?  Isn’t cellulite the worst?

In terms of setting goals, have you been more successful blogging about them or just “shutting up” and letting your progress speak for itself?

Day One

The journey begins. While anxiously awaiting for my Fit Bit to arrive, my quest to get sexy and fit does not wait, so despite getting a nifty flower for my accomplishments, I get sweaty and gross. Does cleaning count for exercise, Fitocracy doesn’t think so, but MFP counts it, so at least there is that. The “BodyRock” attempt was a moderate success, in that I did not have the equipment necessary such as the weighted ball to really make use of it. Also, I did not record my scores for the time. Note for next workout, and also go to our shoebox gym for the medicine ball. Standard walks around the building give me a slight caloric edge.

Speaking of calories, so far so good. Well maybe not so good, according to MFP, I have only consumed about 775 of the recommended 1200. This doesn’t surprise me, even though I ate half a snack bag of chili cheese frito’s, I still only had a smoothie for dinner and very little  lunch. Will probably need to eat a second time later, probably chicken. This is the attempt of mine to maintain eating “normal” after my multiple 1000 calorie days last week. The 5-day fast forward from the Cinch plan by Cynthia Sass was awesome for losing bloatiness of sodium  and shedding a few pounds, but highly unsustainable and not really sure I am digging the rest of the book. Definitely a good easy plan to follow (only 5 things: eggs, spinach, almonds, raspberries, and yogurt) for looking good on beach vacation, but as with all crash diets, never something to do long term.

In other news, learning to code Javascript. This would be something I could never do when cutting calories. In my experience, my brain will not motivate me to do anything unless it has a little bit of sugar. Jackie Warner can demonize it all she wants to, but she doesn’t work in IT, I do. At least instead of reaching for the oh so yummy high fructose corn syrup (oh that makes you not able to learn, did you hear? – google it) I opt for things like fruit and you better never ever tell me to give up my coffee, goddamnit.  Was able to give up Diet Coke for a week, back on the wagon, but refocusing on cutting out the alcohol. Hey you got to have one vice, right? After the birthday, also determined to quit smoking once and for all. Not going to lie, having a SO who puffs regularly makes it quite difficult.

Otherwise, just tired, hopefully the HIIT style workouts and a renewal to my health/wellness will make me feel better and what is the point of anything unless it makes you feel good, right?