New Year’s Evolution

Of course I have this unattainable ambitious list of items that I had planned on doing back in July. What I hadn’t planned on was my life actually getting in the way of the list and well, you know, it happens. Paleo, shmaleo, I like to eat and I like to eat things I like to eat. As far as I can tell, I do not have a gluten sensitivity or intolerance, so screw it, I am going to eat low carb when I feel like it, and not so restrictive when I don’t. And guess what, with the addition of walking from a new dog, I haven’t felt like it. Go figure. Saturday, mah man and I went to Blue Baker and I ordered the Tejas Blue and it was glorious:

I don’t even want to know how many calories it is, probably lots!

mmmmmm, guac!

Had planned on doing a whole 30 during this month, you know as sort of a reset, and while I do agree with these reasons I just didn’t plan ahead enough. However, I did do a lot of research into my weight loss goal of 110 by this summer. Well, ideally it would be a skinny SXSW (hah, see what I did with the alliteration, yet again?) with a 20 pound loss in 10 weeks. Let’s just say the numbers are really freaking difficult to burn 3600 calories times two. Can someone definitively tell me if it is 3500 or 3600 calories per pound of fat? I have heard both, so erring on the side of caution, it was 7200 per week in my calculations. Anyway, the mathematics for losing 20 pounds in 2 months is ridiculous, so a more attainable but still pretty challenging time-frame would be 10 weeks, and for 2 pounds a week it is still 514 calorie deficit through exercise and 514 through calorie restriction. Using the Harris-Benedict equation and the BMR for each week (assuming a 2-2.5 pound weight loss per week) I would have to start out even at 130 pounds around 1200 calories, and then closer to about 1000 calories per day and zero “cheat” days to attain 110 pounds by the ides of March.

In other words, I have already fucked up! Yeah, skipping what you may call amateur hour downtown for NYE, I brunched at Trudy’s and stuffed my gullet with delicious brunch buffet treats, one overpriced mimosa, and one spicy bloody mary. Not exactly debauchery, but definitely gluttony. Today’s hot chocolate mixed with coffee plus the creamer I used in my coffee at work, by the way, not sure I would be typing so furiously without it, #justsayin (boy I wish I could get rid of the habit to write like a douche sometimes) But really, this tweet sums up what everyone should do:

if your thinking new years resolutions.. do not make them about things you don't like, make them about the things you do!

— iambenga (@iambenga) December 27, 2012

In the spirit of this, I hooped for 30 minutes last night and applied makeup yesterday and today. The fake tan looks a bit Snookiish, but I look better, and not surprisingly I feel better. The working out after work foolproof plan I created, will have to be modified a bit because I adopted a dog, but I did join GymPact at a 4x a week plan, so there will be financial ramifications if I do not go to the gym, yay accountability!

…and cabbage, and bullshit

Besides making you have have atomic gas the next day, just eating cabbage for dinner is a great little meal that depending on what you use to boil it with happens to be primal and vegan! Unfortunately, I only had the margarine, so the “inferior” oils won for that round, but I bet it would be good with coconut or olive oil. The only issue is that it doesn’t really stick with you through the evening, so adding a protein such as boiled eggs (Yes, I actually feel sorry for my coworkers today… girl you nastay!)  Also, some grapefruit as a dessert beats the heck out of the post-dinner gas station cupcakes/zingers that I was starting to make an unhealthy habit of consuming.

Been a bit bad when it comes to early morning food, too. Because I feel a bit calorically taken hostage by the Starbuck’s Double Shot Energy drinks at 200 calories a can, I tend to not eat much of anything during the rest of the day. This of course, makes me super hungry at night, and then likely to binge on something really gross and not at all fitspiring.

Speaking of working out, I have my trackpants on, just because I don’t know what professionalism is, and I want to go to the gym straight after work, at least I opted for the t-shirt and sports’ bra in the purse, so I maintain some workplace appropriateness. Anywho, was dancing last night, and for whatever reason, I had one of my favorite EDM albums on,  and yet still my moves were not really that great. I guess because the dream is dying for me of ever being on stage in a dance capacity again. Hell, it was probably dead 2 years ago, but I had some dream of doing it again. I would like to DJ again, if I actually knew how to (college radio doesn’t count), but I don’t know how to beatmatch, and it seems silly to take lessons with 18 year olds. Even if I will never perform again, never say never Justin Beiber, it shouldn’t stop me from enjoying the movement of dance, but somehow my histrionic tendencies know that I will never get the attention I so desperately crave. I am 31. I should really get over that shit. I think I just need a bigger space to hoop in. I think I can enjoy that and maybe one day, I will get to be as good as Neon Emu, a local hoopdancing star. She really is awesome. I have to give her props for her energy and integration of tricks into dancing:

I need to find a practice space big enough, as I can do some of those tricks, but the isolation stuff with the horizontal plane is something I have never been good at. Excuses, excuses. The nagging insecurity of everything being too late for me, or being a copycat, or being embarrassing to myself, just ultimately leads to most of my depression. Wish there was a pill to take that made you fearless. Hey girl, try not to have such a bad day today. I know it is all cloudy and raining, but things could be so much worse. Let’s not get too out of hand, here.

Just in case you don’t get the title reference, here you go:

Day Twenty-Seven

Day 13 of the Whole 30 plan.  No posts on Sunday, but I  surprisingly didn’t fall off the wagon yesterday with the plan, but I did bust out the scale. 120! Only 10 more pounds until my goal weigh. I am not sure if I should go any lower than that, as that might be underweight for my height of 64 inches. I know some girls that are even smaller that go go dance, but really that is a younger persons game and I am not sure if that is even something I have the skills for, though I do love dancing, and I probably will do it until the day I die in my own living room.

I know, I know, that is not “allowed”  to look at the scale, but hell I wanted to see something that would make me happy after some stuff I would rather not get into, you know how that goes. Even negativity does not seem to faze me with my goals. So right now, I am ripping the workout DVD’s I have to mp4 format so I can view them on my iPad. In North Austin, there is a recreation center that has a free dance studio that would be perfect for hoopdancing (my apartment does not have high ceilings). Really gotten to my practice where I can get the hoop around all the points on my body: neck, hand, chest, shoulder, waist, upper legs, still need to work on the single legs, and then popping it back up to the hand and then back down to body hooping, really close to being showcase-worth, just need to create a cohesive routine and then I would be able to be a performer in that capacity. Hey, just because I am older, doesn’t mean my dreams are dead!

I just found out that Sacred Circularities is doing a scholarship contest for their retreat in Sedona on December 12th. I am not sure if I deserve something like that but would it be cool to meet likeminded people that just enjoy the flow of dancing. I better get to work on my picture and essay! I certainly have the writing skills, but do I have the hooping passion that others do. That certainly is the question.

Speaking of insane talent, this yoga video is really inspiring:

Crazy huh? Even though, I am not a fan of them, I am starting to get more into the Wood classes that my studio offers. They really help my poses get deeper, integrating yogic poses and hooping would be the coolest thing, I think just because they seem to be integrated (tree pose and one-legged hooping) but I haven’t really seen any one fully merge the two practices. Just have to take a rad picture of myself in the zone, man would it be cool to win this. Okay, enough day dreaming, back to reality:

this isn’t me, but it could have been!

Day Twenty-One

Today will conclude a week of the Whole30. This morning I was going to get lunch groceries,  but the store was not open until 8 am, and it was 7:30 when I arrived. I used to have problems with businesses not staying open late enough, now I have problems with them not opening early enough. I just can’t sync my schedule with the rest of the world. It is nice being at work earlier than everyone else, though, it really gives me a chance to get my thoughts together before being distracted by anyone else.  But, yeah, planning is good, but if there is anything that I learned from “Workforce Training and Development” it is that even this is not a fail-safe, you really need a contingency plan if something does not go right in your project, in this case my project was getting together lunches. It is not a big deal though, I arrived to work so dang early that I can easily just go get something at 11:30 today and even with the lunch break, I won’t be here too late.

Eggs this morning finished by coffee and you guessed it, coconut milk, no sugar! I feel pretty damn good right now, my left outer glute is kinda sore, but I think it is because I hooped for nearly an hour last night. Also, dancing! The circuit trianing/HIIT workouts are effective, but it just seems like they are not as fun as just moving in a playful creative manner. I want this journey to be something that I can enjoy but also getting the extra credit of having a healthy body. The FB was screaming and its digital flower flourished from the calories. I think the hooping motion with the hips and the weight of the hoop made it cheat a little bit and counted every rotation as a step, but how can you really say it is cheating, when I was moving? Yes, still moving even if I am not nailing down the drills of some drill sergeant (I am looking at you Lisa, from BodyRock). As long as I can get my food that I need, I will be much better off psychologically and physically.

Need to get my workouts transferred over to the iPad from the DVD’s I have, so I can join this decade with technology. In my arsenal, I have the following workouts:

• Jillian Michaels – 30 Day Shred

• Hoopnotica Fitness Hoopdance Hula Hoop DVD Level 3 (Intermediate)

• Workout: One-On-One Training with Jackie

• Hoopnotica: Hoopdance Workout Level 4 – DVD

• Personal Training with Jackie: Power Circuit Training

• Hoopdance Evolution: Intermediate Volume 1

• The Hoop Dance Workout

• Shakra’s Industrial Strength Dance Workout – Tribal Bellydance, World Fusion

  – kinda expected the music to be a little louder and more stomping on this one, little bit disappointed!

But anyway, those are my tools to get a home workout, really really have zero excuses for not working out. I have tons of free resources and stuff I have purchased, but as we all know, just purchasing a DVD or a diet book will not make you thinner or in shape. You really just have to put the work in. Shopping is fun, but it is not the same as doing. My guess is that it is another one of those compulsive behaviors that humans love so that even if you never use the damn thing (guilty!) you have have that same neurological response as if you actually did. It is like that idea of telling people your goals feels the same of actually accomplishing them, so you are less likely to actually do them. If you notice, I try not to say things that I am going to do rather I say things that I have actually done, I would rather be retroactively accountable, and just tell you, oh by the way, I did this yesterday and it rocked. Anyway, it feels good accomplishing things and being able to document this experience, need to get back to the thing that makes buying these fitness DVD’s possible, WORK.. Have a sweaty day!